The Dull Life of a POW
by Scotty McSpockirk
Summary: When beautiful RAF lieutenant Jamie Winsor arrives at Stalag thirteen trouble starts and Hogan ends up being transered, leaving Newkirk in charge! Will this mean the end of the operation? And are Newkirk and Jamie an item? Chapter 8 up!
1. Let's sleep on it

The Dull Life Of A POW

As the stars shine of over Luft-Stalag 13, three men in black pants and sweaters sneak out of "The Toughest Camp in Germany".

"It's good to get out of that ruddy camp." Corporal Peter Newkirk says to his companions.

Newkirk is a handsome Englishman, about 5'9. His street smarts and wittiness helps greatly with his mission. In the war he was a RAF pilot, now his mission is more important.

"Newkirk, it thought you liked it there?" Corporal Louis LeBeau to his friend. LeBeau is a friendly yet tough little Frenchman. His expertise in cooking is not only nice to have but also helps him make friends out of enemies.

"I do, mate," Newkirk replies. "But 'ow often do you get a chance to blow up a train in a ruddy POW camp?"

"Yeah, that the best part about having Colonel Hogan as a senior officer." Sergeant Andrew J. Carter remarks. "He lets us come out here and kablast the train!"

Carter is a friendly person. He his always willing to help but sometimes messes up on things. His knowledge of explosive helps him in his work.

"Right you are, Carter." Newkirk grins. " Colonel 'ogan the best colonel anybody could 'ave."

"Here it comes." LeBeau says, referring to the train. "Are you ready, Peter?"

"Yep." Newkirk says, looking at the track. "Lovely night for a explosion, isn't it?"

"This sure is fun, isn't it?" Carter comments.

"It's ruddy hilarious." Newkirk says, sarcastically.

The train approaches.

"Five, four, three, two, one!" Newkirk says as he pushes the plunger.

The train explodes.

"Yes!" Carter cries. "We got!"

"Yeah, but, lets go before the krauts come." LeBeau says.

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"How'd it go, guys?" Senior POW officer, colonel Robert E. Hogan asks. Hogan is a good-looking man. His creativity and effectiveness make him head of the operation.

"It was a blast!" Carter says.

" 'E's right guv'nr, it went beautifully." Newkirk says.

"Good," Hogan says. "Are you guy's tired?"

"Now sir, what makes you think, that not resting all day and leaving at two o'clock in the morning to blow up a train, would make us tired?" Newkirk say sarcastically.

"I suppose that is a backward 'yes'?" Hogan asks.

"Lets put it this way, sir," Newkirk replies, "Request permission to sleep for the rest of the war."

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The next morning, after roll call….

"Into the barracks, back, back, back!" Sergeant Hans Shultz.

"Hey, what's the big idea Shultzie?" Carter asks.

"Yeah, today's the volleyball tournament!" Newkirk complains.

"But!" LeBeau says, "I just made it into the little leagues!"

"The volleyball tournament is off," Shultz says, "Orders of the Kommandant."

"The ruddy kill joy!" Newkirk murmurs.

"Yeah, now I won't have any photos to send to my mother, or my girlfriend, or my Grammy… " LeBeau trails off.

"And I won't 'ave any pictures to send to the queen of England!" Newkirk jokes.

"Jolly jokers!" Shultz says, "You're all jolly jokers!"

"We try our best." smiles Newkirk.

"Jolly jokers!" Shultz yells. "Back into the barracks!"

"I'm going to write a letter to the Red Cross about this!" Newkirk protests.

"Me too!" LeBeau says.

"What for?" Shultz asks.

"For depriving our girlfriends pictures of us!" LeBeau answers.

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Sergeant James Kinchloe 'Kinch' comes out off the tunnel holding a clipboard. "We got a message from London, Colonel." Kinch says handing the clipboard to Hogan.

Hogan starts to read it. "Commanding officer shot down. Has vital information. Cannot take torture. Get at all cost. Name Jamie Winsor." Hogan reads.

"He sounds important." Carter says.

"He sure does, but how are we going to prevent the krauts from getting him?" Kinch asks

"I have an idea." Hogan says.

"What is it?" Newkirk asks.

"Let's sleep on it."

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A\N: Hello!My name is dreamdog andI just start writing Hogan'sHeroes so please help me. I want toknow the rule and guideline for the Papa bear awards so could you please tell me in your reveiw. R&R


	2. Newkirk's Suprise

"Newkirk, I need you make me a American officer's uniform." Hogan says the following morning.

"You 'ave one, sir." Newkirk replies.

"Not for me, for you." Colonel Hogan laughs. "Make it a Second Lieutenant."

"Right'o, Colonel." Newkirk says as he heads for the tunnel entrance.

Newkirk turns around. "For me!"

"That's right." Hogan says calmly.

"No offence sir, but, 'ave you lost your ruddy mind?" Newkirk asks.

Hogan's puts his hands on Newkirk's shoulders. "I've been meaning to tell you that you would make a good officer." Hogan says, ignoring Newkirk's question.

"I'd make a better kraut general!" Newkirk contradicts.

"Sorry, we don't have any openings there." Hogan grins.

"But, why am I changing into a ruddy second lieutenant?" Newkirk questions.

"You're going to change places with Jamie Winsor." Hogan replies.

"And, I suppose that I'm going to get captured?" the corporal jokes.

"You're right!" Hogan agrees, "I told you that you would make a good officer!"

"Why can't Carter do it?" Newkirk asks.

" I need him to make a diversion a few miles away from where we are going to met Winsor." The colonel answers.

"But­—" Newkirk starts.

"I'm sorry, Newkirk," Hogan says, a little harsher. "But, I have to order you to do this."

Newkirk sighs and heads for the tunnel entrance. He passes Carter who is coming up.

"'E's gone balmy, 'e 'as." Newkirk murmurs to Carter.

After Newkirk leaves the room Carter asks, "What's with Newkirk?"

Hogan puts his arm around Carter and says, "Our friend doesn't know how to handle a promotion."

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Two hours later………..

"Colonel Hogan!" Shultz calls into barrack two.

"The Colonel doesn't like to be disturbed when He's taking a nap." Carter says, looking up from his cards.

"And you know 'ow cranky 'e can get." Newkirk adds.

"Yes, but, if I don't get him to Kommandant Klink, he will be crankier!" Shultz says.

"I got an idea," Newkirk starts, "Why don't you join our little game of poker until Colonel 'ogan wakes up."

"Well I guess I can play for a little while." Shultz smiles.

Newkirk deals Shultz's cards. After about five minutes Newkirk asks, "Well, what 'ave you got?"

"A beautiful full house!" Shultz cries happily.

"Oh, I'm sorry ol' chum," Newkirk says, grinning. "But, I've got four kings."

"But, but, but." Shultz whimpers.

"Why don't we start an other game?" Carter suggests.

"That a good idea, Carter." Newkirk agrees. "So Shultzie, 'ow much do you want to put up?"

"Well, I don't have any money right now but—" Shultz starts.

"Sorry, Shultz this is a cash-only game." Newkirk states.

"Aww, why don't we give him a chance?" Carter says.

"Well… alright." Newkirk gives in. "Why does ol' Klinkie want the colonel?"

"Oh Newkirk! I've told colonel Hogan and now I tell you," Shultz start, "I KNOW NOTHING!"

"Take his cards, Carter." Newkirk says.

"Wait, wait!" Shultz yells. "I might know something."

Newkirk smiles towards Carter. Carter gives Shultz his cards back.

"What might you know?" Newkirk asks calmly.

"Well, a Gestapo major came here yesterday to talk to Kommandant Klink." Shultz states.

"So that's why we were confined to the barrack!" Carter concludes.

"Sorry, you need to give us more than that." Newkirk says.

"Roll call is going to be a bit late tonight because most of the guards looking for some one who was shot down." Shultz says.

"That's just what we want," Newkirk smiles, "But, unfortunately we are a bit busy today so you better get going."

"What?" Shultz asks, "What are you busy with?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Carter questions.

"No! There is nothing to know!" Shultz yells.

"That's a good kraut," Newkirk grins, "Remind me to make you a new uniform."

Shultz leaves the barrack.

"Gee, we better get the colonel to Klink or Shultz will get in a lot of trouble." Carter says.

"Blimey, you're right!" Newkirk agrees, "I'd 'ave to make Shultzie a warmer uniform, for the Russian front!"

Carter walks up to Hogan's quarters and knocks. Carter opens the door.

"He's not here!" Carter exclaims.

"That's 'cause 'e's down in the tunnel." Newkirk says.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carter asks. "We could of told Shultz and he would go down get the colonel and— Oh." Carter cuts himself off, realizing what he was saying.

"And Shultz says he knows nothing." Newkirk murmurs.

Newkirk bangs on a bunk twice. The bed goes up to reveal a ladder. Newkirk and Carter climb down the ladder.

Once down the ladder Newkirk and Carter see Hogan looking over a clipboard.

"Klink wants you, colonel." Carter says.

"Again?" Hogan complains.

"Blimey, 'e's been calling you in there so much you might as well live in there!" Newkirk smiles.

"Yeah," Hogan says. "Oh, by the way, Newkirk, did you finish you're uniform?"

The smile leaves Newkirk's face. "Yes, sir." He says.

"I hope you're not still mad at me?" Hogan asks.

"No, I'm just mad that I can't shoot an officer." Newkirk grins.

LeBeau comes half way down the ladder. "Klink's coming!" He says.

"I really dislike Klink's manners." Hogan says. "He should have told me!"

"Beggin' your pardon sir, but, 'e did." Newkirk grins.

"Oh, thanks for telling me, Newkirk." Hogan thanks, patting Newkirk's back.

Hogan and Newkirk hurry up the ladder. As Carter steps on the third rung he misplaces his step and falls down.

"Are you alright, Carter?" Kinch asks.

"Yeah, but, I'll need some help getting up." Carter replies.

"Quick Newkirk, delay Klink!" Hogan says.

"Right'o, guv'nr." Newkirk salutes.

Newkirk scurries to the door and opens it. He bumps into Klink and knocks him down.

"I'm so sorry, colonel, it was all my fault," Newkirk apologizes. "It won't 'apppen again, sir."

"Just watch it!" colonel Wilhelm Klink says. Klink reaches to get his monocle out of his eye.

"My monocle!" Klink yells. "Where is my monocle?"

Klink turns around to see Newkirk wearing his monocle.

"What are you doing with my monocle?" Klink asks.

"Honestly, I really don't know 'ow it got there." Newkirk grins, nervously.

"Well, give it to me!" Klink orders. Newkirk gives him his monocle.

Hogan comes out of the barrack's door.

"You wanted me, sir?" Hogan asks, saluting.

"Hogan, I asked for you ten minutes ago!" Klink says.

"Sorry, I went home to visit my girlfriend, I just got back." Hogan grins. "Boy, she looks better than ever!"

"Enough of your American insolence!" Klink says, fed up with Hogan's jokes. "I want to talk with you in my office."

"Alright."

Hogan and Klink go to Klink's office.

"What can I do for you, colonel?" Hogan asks.

"I wanted to tell you about a interesting matter." Klink says.

"Thanks a lot but I wanted to visit my cousin in Milwaukee." Hogan grins, starting to exit.

"Wait!" Klink yells.

Hogan sighs and turns around. "What is it?" Hogan groans.

"A train blew up not to far from here." Klink replies.

"I'm glad I didn't take that one home." Hogan smiles. "Can I go now?"

"That why the Gestapo came here." Klink says, ignoring Hogan's question. "Do I need the Gestapo coming here?"

"I guess not, but, I'm no magician, I can't keep the Gestapo away." Hogan replies. "Why don't you ask Newkirk?"

"Dismissed!" Klink yells.

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As the sun sets in the west, Hogan and the heroes discuss the plan. Hogan points out rendezvous places on a map.

"Newkirk, you and I are going to met Winsor here." Hogan says.

"Right'o, colonel." Newkirk smiles.

"Carter, you make a small diversion some where around here." Hogan points out.

"What do I blow up?" Asks Carter.

"Find something nice." Hogan answers.

"What do I do?" LeBeau asks.

"You and Kinch stay here and delay roll call as long we need so Carter and I can get back to camp." Hogan replies.

"What about me?" Newkirk asks, "Are you going to leave me in the middle of Germany."

"You're going to be captured as the person shot down." Hogan explains

"Oh, I get it, then the krauts won't get any information out of 'im." Newkirk concludes.

"Right." Hogan agrees.

"When do we leave?" Carter asks.

"As soon as it gets dark." Hogan answers. "We'll go out the emergency tunnel."

"But, it's not really an emergency." Newkirk ponders.

"It will be if the Germans get to Winsor before we do." Hogan replies.

"Wait, Shultz says that roll call will be late because the guards will be out looking for this guy." Carter says.

"That's why you are going to make a diversion." Hogan answers.

"Blimey, Carter, I 'ave no idea why they drafted you." Newkirk laughs.

"Oui, I think he lied about the size of his brain." LeBeau teases.

"Hey!" Carter yells, offended.

"Cut it out guys, we have a mission to do and we need to do it right." Hogan orders, raising his voice.

"Sorry, colonel." Newkirk apologizes.

"Oui, I'm sorry to." LeBeau copies.

"That all right." Hogan smiles. "I almost agree with you."

"What?" Carter asks.

"Just kidding!" Hogan laughs.

"Its starting to get dark, sir." Newkirk states, looking out the window.

"Already?" Hogan asks, unsure

"Well, I don't think I'm going blind." Newkirk replies.

"I believe you, we'll get going in a minute." Hogan starts, "Newkirk get your uniform on."

"Right'o, sir." Newkirk says, heading toward his bunk.

"Kinch, do we have another map exactly like this one." The American colonel asks.

"I think so, I'll check." Kinch says. "Hamburg right?"

"Yeah." Hogan answers. "Hamburg…. That's where I was shot down."

"You were lucky." Newkirk says, buttoning up his shirt. "I was shot down over a ammunition factory in Heidelberg, it almost blew me to bits."

"Dusseldorf, Berlin, Frankfurt." Kinch murmurs. "Ah ha! Hamburg and area."

Kinch hands the map to colonel Hogan. Hogan draws some direction on the map then hand it to Carter.

"Are you ready, Newkirk?" Hogan asks.

"Yes, sir." Newkirk salutes.

"Here's your fake dog tag." Hogan says, handing Newkirk the 'dog tag'. "Try to memorize the serial number it has on it."

"I should try to memorize my own serial number." Newkirk laughs.

"Me too." LeBeau joins in.

"Well, lets get going." Hogan says. "Kinch, we should be back in about an hour if all goes smooth."

Hogan bangs twice on the bunk. Hogan, Newkirk and Carter go do the ladder and into the tunnel. They walk up to the periscope. Colonel Hogan lifts up the periscope and looks out.

"The coast is clear." Hogan announces. "Newkirk you go first."

Newkirk climbs up, then Carter and last Hogan. "Alright, Carter, you know what to do." Hogan says. "Newkirk, follow me."

After walking for a few minutes they come to fork in the path. Hogan asks, "Newkirk, you have the map, should we go left or right?"

Newkirk pulls the map out of his pocket. "Well, he was shot down here and we are her so… we should go right." Newkirk replies.

They walk for about half and hour. "This is supposed to be where he was shot down." Newkirk says, looking at the map.

"You look around and I'll keep a look out for Germans." Hogan whispers.

Newkirk looks around a bit then looks up at the sky and says, "I'd think that it would be easy to find him, the moon being so bright and all."

He turns to look at the North Star. Just as he looks, he hears a moan. "Was that you, colonel?" He asks.

"No, what did you hear?" Hogan asks.

"A moan." Newkirk replies.

Newkirk looks up in the trees and sees something.

"Blimey," Newkirk says, amazed.

"What's the matter?" Hogan asks.

"It's a woman!"

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AN: Well how did you like my second chappie! Thank for the reviews. R&R!


	3. Hello again, Zolle

It always is." Hogan moans.

"Can you cut me down?" The lady asks. "My parachute is stuck in the tree."

"Newkirk, do you have that pencil sharpener of yours?" Hogan asks.

Newkirk laughs. "I may be wearing different clothes but I'd still feel undressed without it." He grins.

"Do you think you can cut her down from here?" Hogan questions.

"Piece of cake." Newkirk says, getting his 'pencil sharpener' from the back of his shirt.

"You even made a place in your shirt to put it?" Hogan asks.

"I got to 'ave some fun in life, colonel." Newkirk replies, smirking.

Newkirk takes aim and then throws his knife and cuts the strap attaching her to the parachute.

The young woman falls down and land directly in Newkirk arms. It is through the moonlight and Hogan's flashlight that Newkirk gets a clear view of Stalag Thirteen's new female visitor. She is a young woman in her late twenties. He hazel eyes are surrounded by her fair skin and capped by locks of her dirty blond shoulder-length hair.

"Uh, hi." Newkirk grins, nervously.

"Hello, I'm Jamie Winsor;" She smiles, "and who are you, handsome?"

"You're Winsor?" Hogan inquires.

"Yes." She replies.

"Well then, Miss Winsor," smiles Hogan, "this dashing young man here is Corporal Peter Newkirk."

Jamie looks into Newkirk's blue eyes with a sense of a deep passionate love. Newkirk's eyes met her deep hazel eyes then quickly glances at Hogan as if saying, "Colonel please 'elp me!"

"We better get going." Hogan states to assist Newkirk.

Newkirk tries to hand Jamie over to Hogan. "You can put her down now." Hogan says a bit annoyed.

Newkirk begins to do so however, before he does so, Jamie places her hands on both sides of his face and brings his lips close to hers and kisses gives him a kiss.

Newkirk puts her down in a dazed state then whispers it to Hogan's ear, "She' Winsor! Blimey, I'm beginning to like this war more and more."

"Me too!" Hogan laughs.

"If you don't mind, I would like to go now." Jamie says.

"You're English aren't you?" Hogan asks.

"Yes." She replies.

"Well, then, we are sending you home." Colonel Hogan says.

"Really? Back to London?" She inquires, excitedly.

"That's right, so let's get going." Hogan replies, turning to Newkirk. "Remember, Newkirk, name, rank, and serial number only."

"I've been captured before, remember?" Newkirk asks, leaning against a tree.

"I'm glad you have experience." Hogan smiles.

"I wish I 'ad experience in getting a good night's sleep!" Newkirk grumbles, yawning.

"Well, pleasant capturing." Hogan says.

"Thanks a lot."

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"The colonel, should be getting back any minute now." Kinch says, looking at his watch.

"Oui." LeBeau agrees, "I'll make some coffee."

"Not in the phone tap, I hope." Kinch says concerned.

"Of coarse not." LeBeau assures him, "Coffee ala phone tap is horrible!"

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"_Blimey, it cold out here!_" Newkirk thinks, as he puts the final touches of his disguise."_Well, if the ruddy krauts can't find me I might as well find them!_"

Newkirk sticks on his fake mustache.

Just as Newkirk is about to leave a German Shepard come up to him. "Well, 'ow's my favorite little Kraut today?" Newkirk asks, petting the dog. He puts his hand behind the dog's ear and pulls something out from it. " 'ere 'ave a dog biscuit." Newkirk says. "Now go get the guards, schnell!"

The dog runs off.

"HALT!" A guard yells, pointing his gun at Newkirk.

"What took you so long, mates? It cold out 'ere you know." Newkirk complains, putting his hands up . "Why can't I be a prisoner of people who are on time?"

"Raus!" the guards yells.

"All right, all right." Newkirk says, heading towards camp.

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"Carter!" Hogan calls, "Carter where are you?"

"Who's Carter?" Jamie asks.

"He's our explosive expert and part time dimwit." Hogan replies.

"I heard that!" Carter calls for behind a bush.

"Just kidding!" Hogan laughs, and then he whispers into Jamie's ear, "He's so sensitive."

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Klink hears a knock on his door.

"Come in!" Klink says.

"The new prisoner is here, Herr Kommandant." Shultz announces.

"Send him in!" Klink orders.

Newkirk passes by Shultz, grinning. Shultz's jaw drops.

"Ah, a new prisoner!" Klink smiles. "What is you're name?"

Newkirk thinks for a while try to remember the name on his dog tag. "Uh, Roy Denver, sir."

"Hmm, quite and American name with quite a British accent." Klink ponders.

"'Ands across the sea and all that." Newkirk grins nervously.

"Serial number?"

"145231191811." Newkirk replies, slowly.

"Sort of a large serial number isn't it?" Klink asks.

Just then Colonel Hogan comes through the door.

"Oh, a new prisoner, I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Hogan asks, closing the door. Newkirk lets out a sigh of relief.

"No, No, Hogan I was just wondering why this prisoner has such a large serial number."

Newkirk looks at Hogan then back at Klink. "I enlisted sort of late, sir." Newkirk says.

"Rank?" Klink asks.

"Second lieutenant." Newkirk answers.

Klink takes a closer look at Newkirk. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"I don't know." Newkirk says, pretending to thing. " 'Ave you ever been to London?"

"No, I distinctly remember you wearing my monocle." Klink ponders.

"Then it must have been some other chap." Newkirk concludes for Klink. "As you can see, I 'ave perfect vision."

"All right." Klink says. "Hogan, take him to your barracks."

Both Hogan and Newkirk salute to Klink.

Once in the barracks Hogan says, "You handle Klink really well."

"If I 'ad any sense I would of fainted dead away." Newkirk sighs, plopping down on his bunk.

Just then, Jamie comes up from the tunnel. "Jamie, your name isn't very English is it?" Hogan ponders.

"My father was American and my mother a English." Jamie replies.

"Hey, that's great!" Carter says. "Newkirk, you can have the English part of her and I'll have the American!"

Jamie giggles.

"And why do you get a part of her?" Newkirk asks, grabbing Carter by his collar.

"I hardly ever go on dates." Carter replies.

"Oh yeah, I bet the war would be over by the time you finish counting all the dates you've been on." Newkirk says.

"Well, I can't help it if I count slow." Carter defends himself, knocking off Newkirk's hand.

"What about me?" LeBeau joins in, kissing Jamie's hand. "Don't I get a part of her too?"

"Buzz off." Newkirk says, pushing LeBeau away.

"Would you like to go on walk with me?" Carter asks.

"What about me?" Newkirk grins, putting his arm around her waist.

"How would you like to with me?" LeBeau says.

"Why would she want take a walk with the three of us?" Carter ponders.

"Okay, knock I off guys!" Hogan orders. "Newkirk you can take Jamie on a tour of the tunnels.

"Thank you, sir." Newkirk thanks. "It's a pleasure to be in the same army with you."

"We aren't in the same army." Hogan says.

"Well, then it's a pleasure not to be in the same army with you." Newkirk salutes.

Newkirk and Jamie go down into the tunnel. Hogan walks over to Kinch and says, "I have so many boys wanting to go out on dates, I feel like a mom."

"Don't feel to bad mom, were not growing up that fast." Carter jokes. Hogan knocks of Carter's hat.

"Oh, colonel I was wondering if—" Kinch starts.

"Not you too?" Hogan interrupts.

"No." Kinch laughs, "I just want to go into town to get some parts for the radio."

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"This 'ere's the communication center." Newkirk says. "We call the sub from 'ere, and then we make a rendezvous point for them to pick you up at take you back to London."

"Where's that door lead to?" Jamie asks, pointing to a door.

"That is the wine cellar." Newkirk replies.

"A wine cellar?" She inquires, "In a prisoner-of-war camp?"

"Well, the krauts never give us anything." Newkirk answers.

Jamie laughs. "Over there is the food pantry." Newkirk says.

"Talking about food, I'm getting kinda hungry." Jamie states, holding her stomach.

"Louis is making dinner now." Newkirk starts, "I'd watch it if I was you, it tastes good but I think 'e's mad at me."

"You guys hardly ever see girls do you?" Jamie asks.

"An all male camp doesn't bring many opportunities." Newkirk grins.

"Dinner's ready!" LeBeau calls into the tunnel. Jamie and Newkirk climb up the ladder and sit at the table.

"What for dinner, LeBeau?" Newkirk asks.

"Chicken cordon bleu" LeBeau replies happily.

"Sounds good." Newkirk says as he rubs his hands together.

"—but for you: poison!" LeBeau growls.

A grin then appears on Newkirk's face. "LeBeau's mad at me." He chuckles to himself, "I wonder 'ow far 'e will go." He turns to LeBeau and smiles, "I say, old chap, you don't 'ave to go through all that trouble just to provide me with some poisson. I say, what kind is it?"

"The kind that kills." Replies the Frenchman.

"Shark?" Newkirk's eyes widen, "Why, I 'aven't 'ad that in so long!"

"No, you British lover boy!" Snaps LeBeau, "Poison not poisson!"

"Thanks a lot, Froggy." Newkirk says, sarcastically. He then smiles, "I finally got to 'im."

LeBeau pour some white wine into Jamie's glass. "Some wine, mon cheri." LeBeau smiles.

"Thank you." Jamie smiles back.

"Pretty good poison, this is." Newkirk remarks.

"Flattery will get you no where." Snaps LeBeau.

"Hey, don't be to mad at Newkirk." Hogan defends Newkirk, "I was the one who said that he could take Jamie on the tour."

LeBeau instantly grabs Hogan's plate.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Hogan asks.

"I'm going to give you the same as Newkirk." LeBeau replies.

"Oh no you don't." sneers Hogan as he snatches back his plate. "We have a job to do and we can't be killing ourselves off."

"I'm sorry, colonel." LeBeau apologizes.

"That all right." Hogan starts. "Kinch, you and Carter call the sub and schedule a date so they can pick up Jamie."

"Okay, colonel." Kinch says.

"Newkirk, go to my office and take Jamie's measurements and work on civilian clothes for her." Hogan says, taking a bite of his chicken.

"Right'o guv'nr." Newkirk replies.

"LeBeau make dessert and hold the poison."

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"I'm sorry if I caused any embarrassment when we met." Jamie apologizes.

"What?" Newkirk asks, measuring her arms.

"The kiss."

"No, no, my pleasure." Newkirk grins. "So, did you have any boyfriends before the war?"

"One, he was a mortician." Jamie replies.

"Are you still together?" Newkirk inquires.

"No, we had a fight and then we broke up because of something I told him to do." She says.

"What did you tell him to do?" Newkirk asks.

"Drop dead." Jamie giggles.

They both laugh and go to the main part of the barracks to have dessert.

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Kinch sets down his earphones and turns to Carter. "Go tell the colonel that the sub broke down." Kinch says.

Carter climbs up the ladder. "Hey, great news everybody," Carter smiles, "the sub broke down."

Instantly, the entire prisoner body broke out into a roar of rejoice.

"What's so great about that?" Hogan asks, annoyed of his men's sudden outburst.

Carter tilts his head towards Jamie whose hands are being kissed by both Newkirk and LeBeau.

"Excuse me boys, but, how am I supposed to eat my cake with both of you holding my hands?" Jamie asks.

Newkirk says, "I'll feed you." He then turns to Carter, "Say, old boy," he calls out, "do you mind taking over this hand for me? I'm not very good with multitasking."

"I'm not going to kiss a hand with your germs on it!" snaps Carter.

"All right, all right." Newkirk gives in, "I'll kiss, you feed."

"Sounds like fun." Jamie giggles.

Hogan sits and watches as Newkirk and LeBeau kiss Jamie's hand and Carter feeds Jamie her cake one fork full at a time and wiping her mouth periodically.

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The next morning a Gestapo car comes through the front gate. Major Zolle exits the car and goes into Klink's office. Hogan notices and enters his barracks.

"Turn on the coffee pot, Kinch." Hogan says.

"Who just came in, colonel?" Newkirk asks.

"Major Zolle." Hogan replies.

"That quack?" LeBeau asks.

"Yeah," Hogan laughs. "I remember the last time he visited."

"That guy really is balmy." Newkirk remarks.

The coffee pot turns on.

"Welcome to Stalag Thirteen, Major Zolle." Klink welcomes. "Heil Hitler!"

" I do not say 'Heil Hitler" Zolle says.

"Why not?" Klink asks.

"I do not trust Hitler." Zolle explains. "Not him, not my mother."

"You do not trust Hitler?" Klink inquires.

"I trust no one." Zolle answers.

"Do you trust yourself?"

"No." Zolle replies.

"You must have a very lonely life." Klink sympathizes.

"I have a dog." Zolle says.

"Do you trust him?" Klink asks.

"No."

Just then another man in a Gestapo uniform comes in.

"Captain Hildebrandt, Gestapo." The man says. "Major Zolle, we need to hurry."

"Ah, yes." Zolle agrees, "We have reason to believe that you have a prisoner called Roy Denver here."

"How did you know?" Klink asks.

"The Gestapo knows all."

"I shall bring him in right away." Klink says.

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"You better get over there, Newkirk." Hogan says.

"What do I tell 'em?" Newkirk asks.

"I don't know." Hogan replies, "You're the one with the information."

"I don't have any information, remember?"

"Well then, improvise." Suggests Hogan, "Make something up."

"Okay, I'll do it." Newkirk gives in, "But just between you and me, I don't trust this chap Zolle."

"Who would?"

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A/N:

So, how do you like it? I used the character Major Zolle from episode 19 Hello, Zolle. Please R/R.

Just incase you were wondering:

poisson is the French word for fish

Froggy is English slang for a French person.


	4. 2'nd Lt Roy Denver, Senior POW Officer

"Roy Denver?" Zolle inquires, as Newkirk walks in.

"Uh, yes, sir." Newkirk replies, adjusting his mustache.

"I have reason to believe that you have vital information about the allies." Zolle says.

"Now what ever gave you that idea, major?" Newkirk grins.

"The Gestapo tells no one." Zolle informs, then changing the subject. "So what do you know?"

Newkirk pauses, thinking of something to say. _"Blimey, colonel 'ogan's really got me into a fix."_ He thinks.

"I know nothing." Newkirk finally replies, "Nothing!"

"Ha! I do not believe you." Zolle says.

"Well, that's your problem." Newkirk says, coolly.

"I will be your problem when you are in front off a firing squad." The Gestapo major replies.

"Under what pretences, sir?" smiles Newkirk, "Because, technically, you 'ave nothing on me."

"I'll find something." Zolle says, looking Newkirk in the eye.

"If you dig deep enough," Newkirk murmurs to himself as he gets, "I'm sure you will."

"You may go now but do not try to escape, I will be needing you for further questioning."

As Newkirk leaves, Klink walks in.

"What did you find out?" Klink asks Zolle.

"He says he knows nothing." Replies Zolle, "I don't trust him."

"I understand." Says Klink.

Newkirk, who has been listening outside, quickly opens the door to Klink's office and calls out to Zolle, "If it's all the same major, I feel the same way about you."

Newkirk steps into the barracks.

"How'd it go, Newkirk?" Hogan asks.

"Compared to what?" Newkirk sighs, taking a couple gulps of Carter's coffee.

"Hey, that's my coffee!" Carter complains.

"You can 'ave it." Newkirk says, setting the coffee down. "It's freezin' cold."

"What did you tell Zolle?" Hogan asks, again.

"Nothing really." Newkirk answers, pouring some coffee into a cup of his own. " 'E said 'e wanted me to come back later for more questioning."

"Good, now you will have time to think something up something crazy to tell him." Hogan smiles.

"I 'ate to say this, guv'nr, but, your wrong." Newkirk says, lighting a cigarette. "I'm not going to think up anything."

"All right, Carter will think up something." Hogan replies.

"Me?" Carter asks, surprised.

"Sure, Carter, you're always thinking up crazy things." Newkirk grins.

"But, I know nothing about military secrets!" Carter contradicts.

"C'mon Carter." Newkirk says, "Just to show me there's no 'ard feelings about the coffee."

Carter looks from Newkirk to Hogan and then back to Newkirk. Both men making sad, puppy-dog eyes.

"Okay, but, you guys better help me." Carter gives in.

"Of course, Carter." Newkirk says, picking up the coffee pot. "I'll pour you some new coffee."

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"Kinch." Hogan says.

"Yes, colonel?" Kinch replies.

"I want you and LeBeau to be in charge of decorating a room in the tunnels for Jamie to stay in." Hogan replies, "Since she might have to stay for a while we should have a place for her to stay."

"Okay, but what tunnel do we make it in?" Kinch asks. Hogan pulls down a map of all the tunnels they have dug.

"Set it up in the new section of tunnel five, that way she will have quick access to the barracks." Hogan answers.

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"Peter!" Jamie calls through the tunnels, "Peter, where are you?"

"Over 'ere, Jamie." Newkirk answers, from a cabinet full of magic tricks.

Jamie walks over to Newkirk.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asks.

"Looking for my code cards." Newkirk replies.

"What?"

"Well, colonel 'ogan got a message from London saying we've lost contact with one of the agents in town." Newkirk says.

"What's that have to do with cards?" Jamie asks.

" 'E works in a bar in town, so I get 'im in a card game and the different ways I move the cards sends a message." Newkirk replies.

"Sounds very creative." Jamie remarks.

"Colonel 'ogan ruddy brilliant in that sort of thing." Newkirk smiles, "Even if 'e is an officer."

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Two hours later…

"Newkirk, you better keep working on Jamie's civilian clothes." Hogan says.

"I can't, sir." Newkirk replies, looking up from his cards.

"Why not?" The colonel asks.

"I lent it to private 'enderson down at barracks seven." Newkirk answer and then laughs. "'E says 'e wants to be a tailor when 'e grows up."

"Why can't you just go and get it from him?"

" 'E won't give it back to me." Newkirk sighs, "I never did like 'im."

"Hmmm."

"Wait, if I could take Jamie over there, 'e might let me use it." Newkirk suggests.

"But, we had a cave-in at tunnel to barrack seven." LeBeau joins in. Hogan looks over at LeBeau as if asking 'when?'

"When I gave Carter that cooking lesson." LeBeau says.

"Yeah, I found a great new recipe for a bomb." Carter smiles. LeBeau frowns at Carter.

"Well, Newkirk, you'll just have to take her out in the open to get to barracks seven." Hogan sighs.

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Jamie and Newkirk swiftly move through the gap between Barracks two and seven. They bump into Shultz.

"Hey, Newkirk, wha-, wha-, wha-." Shultz says, looking at Jamie.

"What's the matter, Shultzie?" Newkirk asks.

"What is she doing here?" Shultz whispers.

"She's just passing through." Newkirk answers.

"Oh, Newkirk, I don't want to get involved in your personal life." Shultz starts slowly. "But I want her OUT!"

Jamie and Newkirk head into barracks seven. Before Newkirk can enter the Barracks Shultz grabs him by the arm and asks, "Where did you find a pretty fraulein like that?"

"One day Shultz, after the war, I'll tell you." Newkirk replies.

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"Hello." Jamie says to the man in barrack seven.

"H-h-h-h-hi, I'm Jerrrrrr-y." A sergeant stammers, shyly. "N-n-n-n-nice t-t-t-to meet y-y-you."

"I'm Jamie." Jamie smiles.

A muscular corporal steps up to Jamie. "Hi, baby, I'm Jeff." He says.

"Hi." Jamie says, "I'm waiting for my friend Peter."

Newkirk comes in.

" 'Enderson, I need my sewing kit." Newkirk states.

"But, I'm working on a shirt!" Henderson complains, pulling out a skimpy looking shirt.

The shirt has an un-even hem and the stitching shows. Newkirk frowns at the sight.

"I need it for Jamie 'ere." Newkirk says.

Henderson looks at Jamie and smiles. "Okay."

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"Colonel Hogan!" Shultz calls from the doorway, "Kommandant Klink wants you!"

"Okay." Hogan says, trying to get through the door. "You're getting a little pudgy there, Shultz."

"Jolly Joker!"

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"Can I have my sewing kit back now?" Henderson asks.

"It's my sewing kit and no." Newkirk replies, pinning two pieces of fabric together.

"How about a date tonight, honey?" Jeff asks.

"Sorry, I'm busy tonight." Jamie replies.

"With what?" Jeff inquires.

"I'll think of something."

Newkirk and Jamie leave.

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Ten minutes later, in barracks two……….

Hogan walks in, looking completely dazed.

"What the matter, colonel?" Newkirk asks.

"I'm being transferred." Hogan replies.

"That awful!" Carter exclaims.

"What are we going to do?" LeBeau asks.

"That's not the worst of it." Hogan says.

"Then what's the worst of it?" Newkirk inquires.

Hogan turns to Newkirk. "You're the new senior POW officer!"

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AN: Sorry if this chappie took a little longer and if it's a little shorter, I've been a tad busy. Newkirk the New senior POW officer! Keep reading and reviewing!


	5. Nationality Switch: Fraulein Winsor

"What!" The group exclaims in unison.

"Holy mackerel!" Kinch exclaims.

"Holy tuna!" Carter exclaims.

"Holy tuna?" Kinch asks.

"I never did like mackerel." Carter answers.

They all laugh, and then it settles down. Newkirk face turns very serious, same with all the others.

"You 'ave to be kidding me, guv'nr?" Newkirk says.

"I wish I was, Newkirk." Hogan sighs, "Klink finds me a little to wild for him."

"When are you leaving, Mon colonel?" LeBeau asks.

"In a few days." Hogan replies, "Klink still needs to decide which Stalag he's going to

Send me to."

Just then, Jamie comes up from the tunnel and notices that every body looks sick. She walks up to Newkirk and smiles.

"What's the matter, Peter?" Jamie laughs, putting her arms around him. "You look like you just saw your best friend being killed."

"Worse." Newkirk sighs. "I'm about to be killed."

Jamie giggles, then, realizes that it is not a joke. Her eyes fix on Newkirk.

"What?" She asks, worried. "What's the matter?"

Newkirk starts to say something but cuts himself off and he collapses onto his bunk. He turns to Hogan with a pleading look in his eyes.

Hogan nods, then sighs, "Newkirk here is becoming the new senior officer."

"But, but," Jamie stammers, "What about you?"

"I'm being transferred." Hogan says, with a nervous grin.

Jamie sits down on the bunk next to Newkirk. Newkirk hops up. All the men are pacing back and forth. Jamie walks up to colonel Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, you shouldn't get over excited." She says, "You need to think of some thing to do!"

"I would get over excited," Hogan smiles as he goes to his office, "I will just lie down and have a nice, calm, cool, nervous breakdown."

"May I join you?" Newkirk asks.

"Sure, we officers have to stick together." Hogan replies.

"Don't remind me." groans Newkirk.

"What are we going to do?" Kinch asks, trying to change the subject of nervous breakdowns before he has one, "This probably means we're out of business."

"I don't think so." Hogan starts, calming down, "You're working on a miniature radio, right?"

"So?" Kinch inquires.

"If I can take that with me, you can send me the information from London then I send you back the orders." Hogan says.

"I don't like it colonel." Newkirk frowns, "Even if it does work."

"Do have a better suggestion?"

"Well if I just be so ruddy annoying that Klink can't stand me, then 'e'll get you back." Newkirk suggests.

"I might work but with our luck he'd probably get Crittendon." Hogan answers.

That night……………

"Are you ready, Newkirk?" Hogan asks.

"Yes, sir." Newkirk replies.

"Carter, diversion." Hogan orders.

"Okay."

Carter opens up the barracks door sticking a cigarette in his mouth. He then steps out slowly, deliberately bumping into Shultz.

"Hello, Carter, do you want a light?" Shultz asks, shuffling around in his pockets for a match.

"No thanks, I quit smoking." Carter replies, leaning against the barracks door.

"Then what is that in your mouth?" Shultz inquires.

"Oh, yeah, I just remembered I started again." Carter laughs.

"Well, do you want a light or not?" Shultz says, getting a bit fed up.

"Sure."

Shultz pulls a small box of matches out of his inner pocket. He pulls out a match and lights it. As he raises it to Carter's cigarette, Carter falls onto Shultz pressing the lighted match onto the German's uniform. Thus lighting Shultz on fire.

"Ahhh!" Shultz screams. "Fire!"

As Shultz is being put out, Newkirk jumps out of the barracks window. Then, runs from the barracks to the fence. He rolls up the first fence, then the second fence. He brushes the dirt off of his German corporal's uniform. _"It feels good to be corporal again, even if it is in a different army." _Newkirk thinks.

He runs through the woods until he reaches the road where a car is waiting on the side of the road. He drives into town and parks outside the bar. Before Newkirk enters, he looks into the glass making sure it's the right bar. He opens the door and then walks into the smoke-filled room, up to the counter. Newkirk pulls a small piece of paper and a picture out of his coat pocket. He scans the men at the bar counter. His eyes fix at a certain man. " 'Ello Fritz, 'ow 'bout joining me in a cards." Newkirk asks

"Sure, would you like something to drink?" The man says.

"_Well, 'e past the recognition code,_" Newkirk thinks, "_Let's see 'ow good 'e knows 'is signals._"Newkirk pull a deck of cards out of his coat pocket as the man pours him some whiskey. The bartender whispers something into another man's, at the bar, ear. The other man nods. Newkirk and the bartender sit down a small table at the corner of the room.

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"Where is Peter?" Jamie asks.

"He should be in town by now." Replies Hogan looking at his watch, "That is, if everything has gone well. Let's just hope, our spy remembers his codes."

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"…And _I_ says to manager _and_ these _fellows_," Newkirk continues his cryptic message as he deals out a few cards. The bartender looks at his cards containing the words 'Burkhalter's suit size', 'Burkhalter's daily schedule', and 'Any vital facts on Burkhalter'. He quickly sets those cards down and continues to play with his remainder.

"it ain't for nothing that I _decided_ to break that glass ya know?" Newkirk smiles. He looks at the other man who nods as he writes various dots and dashes onto a small pad of paper. "An' they says to me, 'if yer can't 'old yer liquor, ya might as well get _out_!' Of coarse I knew they was joking 'cause they was me own cousins!" Newkirk and the bartender break out into laughter.

The bartender continues to record information. "Oh yes," Newkirk takes a sip of his whiskey, "Those were 'appy days."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is after dark when Newkirk returns to Stalag Thirteen.

"How did it go?" Hogan asks.

"Just great, Gov." smiles the Englishman, "They had great whiskey."

"I didn't mean that."

"Just joking." Newkirk winks.

"Did you give the right message?" inquires Hogan.

"You mean, 'Kraut defect looking as Gen. Burk. I and fellows break out of the jar of sauerkraut. Need info bank.'?"

"What does it mean?" asks Carter.

"We are breaking out of Germany a German defector looking like General Burkhalter. Provide needed information on the following."

"And they say Cockney is hard to understand," Hogan says in a puzzled tone, "I don't believe that it is a language at all."

"It isn't." replies Newkirk, "It's an accent."

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The next morning, at roll call……….

Shultz walks up to where Colonel Hogan is standing, looking very worried.

"Please colonel Hogan, Newkirk's not here but he is here and…." Shultz pleads. "Colonel Hogan."

"Look at it this way, Shultz, " Hogan starts, "Newkirk's here, right?"

"Yes." Shultz answers.

"And Roy Denver's uniform is here right?" Hogan continues.

"Well, yes."

"Well, then they are both here." Hogan smirks.

"But, col—" Shultz starts.

"Don't complain to me, Shultz." Hogan interrupts, rolling his eyes, "Second lieutenant Denver is the new senior officer."

Shultz groans.

"Repooooort!" Colonel Klink yells.

"All present and accounted for, Herr Kommandant." Shultz says, uncertainly, then quietly, "Sort of."

"Hogan, I would like to see you in my office." Klink says. "You can come to, Denver."

Newkirk and Colonel Hogan follow Colonel Klink into his office. When inside, Colonel Hogan stops to kiss Helga.

"Hello, Colonel Hogan." Helga smiles.

"Hi, Honey." Hogan says, a bit sadly.

"What's the matter?" The secretary asks.

"I'm gonna miss you when I'm transferred." Hogan replies, giving her another kiss.

"Is anything else the matter?" She inquires.

"Newkirk will be placed as Senior POW officer." Hogan replies.

"Is that so bad?" Helga asks, very confused.

"Maybe not if Newkirk doesn't despise officers so much."

"Oh, you poor dear." Helga sympathizes as she rubs the colonel's head combing his thick dark brown hair this way and that.

"You know Jamie, right?" Hogan asks.

Helga nods, she had met her when she was doing manicures for the escaping prisoners. They had become friends and enjoy doing 'girl things'. Helga also knows about Newkirk and Jamie's 'relationship'.

"Well," Hogan continues, "She's getting a little restless and she just wants to get out, but we both know that she can't."

"Hmm." Helga ponders.

"You will help Newkirk out, won't you?" Hogan says, almost begging. Helga nods.

"HOOOOGGGGGAAAANNN, GET IN HERE!" Klink yells through his office door.

"Bye, honey." Hogan grins, giving Helga one last kiss.

After Hogan leaves, Helga just sits in her chair and thinks for a few minutes. After awhile, a large smile forms on Helga's face. She shuffles around on her desk, then picks up a blank piece of paper, sticks it in the typewriter and types something on it. She then, combs back her hair, grabs the paper, pushes out her chair and gets up.

Helga knocks on the door.

"Come in." Colonel Klink calls.

"May I speak to you, Herr Kommandant?" Helga asks.

"Of course, Fraulein Helga." Klink smiles, signaling for Helga to come in.

"My cousin in Frankfurt sent me this letter." Helga says, handing Klink the paper.

Klink slowly read the letter. "So your aunt is sick, I'm very sorry to hear that." He sympathizes.

"I was wondering if I could take awhile off so I could go there?" Helga requests.

"I suppose that I can let you go for a while." Klink says. "How long do you think it will take?"

"I don't know, Herr Kommandant." Helga starts, "Maybe a month or two."

"Oh, I might have to get a substitute secretary." Klink ponders.

"I'm sure one of my friends will be able to do the job."

A smile forms On Hogan's face, realizing Helga's plan. He nods to Newkirk. The smile spreads to Newkirk's face. Then to Klink's face.

"Why are we smiling?" The German Colonel asks.

"You better get a doctor," replies Hogan, "I think we have started an epidemic."

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**A/N:**

**Carter: Review! Review! Review!**

**Newkirk: Shut up, Carter!**

**Carter: I can't settle down, Newkirk, I feel like jumping around!**

**Newkirk: I don't care whether you jump off the ruddy Tower of London, just shut up! **

**LeBeau: Oui! We need our sleep!**

**Carter: Review! Review! Review!**

**Newkirk: For the last time, carter, shut your trap!**

**Carter: You can't talk to me that way, I'm a sergeant.**

**Newkirk: And I'm a ruddy second lieutenant! And if you don't shut up, I'll 'ave you bound an' gagged!**

**Carter: Blah! Review! Review! Review!**

**Newkirk: Colonel 'ogan!**

**Hogan: What going on out here?**

**LeBeau: Cater won't settle down!**

**Hogan: Carter, you better go to bed or Dream dog can't update us!**

**Carter: Oh, I never thought of that **

**Newkirk: That's not surprising.**

**Carter: Update! Review, review, review!**

**Everybody: shut up and goodnight!**

**Dreamdog: That's all for now, fellow Hogan's Heroes fans!**


	6. An invitation for trouble

**AN: Hi All! Here's the next Chappie! Carter can be awful annoying sometimes!**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Helga leaves just as Klink says, "You know, Hogan, I still haven't decided which Stalag I'm going to send you to."

"Which Stalag Kommandant do you hate the most?" Hogan asks.

"Major Giesbrecht, Stalag seven." Klink replies.

"Send me there."

"Good idea, thank you, Hogan!" Klink thanks. "You may not believe this Hogan, but I'm actually going to miss you a bit."

"You won't believe how much I'm going to miss you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jamie lies down on her cot in the tunnel. She stares up at the ceiling of the tunnel. Then, picks up a newspaper. "Darn, why do newspapers have to be in German?" She murmurs to herself. "What am I thinking? I'm in Germany, I should expect everything to be in German."

She hops up and paces back and forth. "I don't know what the matter with me?" She groans. "The camp is full of men, if the girls were here we would be having a field day."

She laughs, "Men as far as the eyes can see." The young woman looks in the mirror and brushes her hair. "If only I could go out with the boys one night and blow up something," She thinks out loud, "Okay, I'm starting to sound like Andrew."

"Gosh, I never felt so bored in my entire life." She murmurs again, "Except, for when I was four and I got a lecture on cutting my brother's hair."

"Too bad my brother isn't here."

She stares at the ceiling again. "Oh, look at that," She sighs, sarcastically, "A nice crack in the ceiling." "One crack, two crack, three crack, four." Jamie rambles, "Five crack, six crack seven crack, more."

"I wonder whether Andrew will come down and play checkers with?" She ponders, "He doesn't know how to play checkers, that makes us even, neither do I." Jamie gets up and picks up book titled 'Oxford dictionary'. "This sounds fun." Jamie murmurs. After reading a few words, she slams the dictionary. "Hmm, am I talking to myself?" She asks herself, then answers, "Because there's no one else that's why, dummy."

"I guess you answered your own question, huh?"

"You could say that again."

"I think I would."

"Jamie, are you bored?" She asks.

"Yes."

"Do you feel like doing something?"

"Oh, just shut up."

"Come on, Newkirk." Hogan says as they exit Klink's office. "I'll bet that Jamie will excited to know that she can have something to do."

"You're right, guv'nr." Newkirk smiles, "She's been complaining to me about it."

"Well, you'll be able to rest your ears now."

"I'm glad to 'ear that she shouldn't be overworking 'er mouth like that," Newkirk says, grinning devilishly, "It should be used for other things, ya know?

Hogan laughs until they reach the barracks. Hogan opens the door to be greeted by Kinch.

"You look pretty cheerful, colonel." Kinch says, "Has your transfer been cancelled."

"Transfer? Oh, yes," Hogan groans, "You had to remind me."

"Well?" Kinch continues. "What happened?"

"My transfer hasn't been cancelled." Hogan replies, "But it will be easier now that Jamie is going to the secretary."

"Huh?" LeBeau joins in.

"Helga schemed up a trick so that she will be off for a while and Jamie will have something to do." Hogan answers.

"Girls!" LeBeau exclaims, "They're wonderful!"

"We know." Hogan says.

Just then, Carter steps in from the cold, exclaiming, "Hey, what are you talking about, guys?"

"Girls!" LeBeau cries, happily.

"Wow!" Carter smiles, "That sounds like fun!"

"It sure is!" LeBeau replies.

"Alright, guys, calm down." Hogan yells getting a bit fed up, not that he didn't enjoy talking about girls.

"What's on your mind, guv'nr?" Newkirk asks.

"Before I say anything, Newkirk, get Jamie up here." Hogan orders. Newkirk walks up to the bunk, bangs twice then calls, "Jamie can you come up 'ere?"

"Coming!" Jamie exclaims, happy to hear someone says her name beside herself. Once up, she says, "I glad you guys called me, or I would've died of boredom!"

"Now we can't let 'appen." Newkirk grins, putting his arm around her. Jamie giggles.

"Down to business." Hogan announces, clearing his throat. "Jamie, how you like to be paid to cure your boredom."

"Sure!" Jamie smiles, "I'd do it for free! Uh, what do I do?"

"How'd you like to work as a secretary for a while?" Hogan offers.

"Well, I don't really have any experience," She ponders. "But, who cares?"

"Alright, then it's settled." Hogan finishes. "Jamie you can help Newkirk along as senior officer, while I'm away."

"But, guv'nr, what about this Burkhalter look-alike?" Newkirk inquires.

"It will be our last mission." Hogan says, then looking at all the sad faces across the room, "That is, if my plan doesn't work."

"And if you plan doesn't work your gonna leave me an ruddy officer the rest of this ruddy war?" exclaims Newkirk.

"If I have to, yes!" Hogan says, his voice getting very serious, "This is a good operation and if we can save it I want to leave with someone I can trust!"

"Do you 'ave to trust_ me_?" the Englishman complains.

Hogan puts his hand on Newkirk's shoulders. "I only wish that there were more officers like you."

"You keep wishing, because as soon as another one come along," Newkirk starts, "I'm quitting."

"No seriously, Newkirk," Hogan continues, "You the only officer that can actually hate officers and be a good one at the same time."

"I'm not officially an bleedin' officer remember?" Newkirk reminds.

"Well, maybe I should shoot you to make you a bleeding officer." Hogan jokes.

"No, no, bleedin' means—" Newkirk starts to explain, then cuts him self off. "Forget it."

Suddenly, an overweight sergeant by the name of Shultzie barges in. "I need volunteers for garbage detail!" He yells.

"Not now, Shultz," Hogan complains. "We're busy!"

"'E's right, Shultzie." Newkirk agrees, smiling, "We're so busy that I can't stand it, I'm ready to run right out of 'ere."

"What are you busy with?" Shultz asks.

"Well, you see I— " Hogan explains, to be cut off by Shultz.

"No!" Shultz yells, "I don't want to know nothing!"

Shultz turns around to see Jamie sitting innocently on Newkirk bunk. His jaw drops then stammers, "Wha- wha-, what she still doing here?" Shultz asks, enraged. "Why did I have to see her?"

"You should of knocked Shultz," Hogan says, "That way it is easier to see nothing, you need to learn these thing, next I'll have to teach about the birds and the bees."

"I want her out!" Shultz yells.

"Now, how could you not want a pretty girl like her in a dull, boring POW camp?" Hogan smiles. "I've been wanting to perk up the place."

Shultz smiles a bit shyly, then his smile goes away. "I do like frauleins," he says, "But only when they are in the country legally!"

"She is here legally," Hogan explains, "She is legally a shot down officer."

"So, she is a shot down officer?" Shultz concludes , "I have to put this on report!"

"Sure Shultz, go ahead, that's perfect," Hogan says, sarcastically, "If you want a free ticket to the Russian Front, once they figure out how she got in while you were here."

"But—" Shultz starts to be cut off by Hogan.

"Don't worry Shultz," The American colonel comforts, "She'll be getting a job soon."

"A job?" ponders Shultz. "Doing what?"

"She' going to be Klink's temporary secretary." Hogan replies.

"Oh, no!"

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About three hours later at approximately three forty-five P.M. Newkirk knocks on Hogan's office door. "Come in." Hogan calls through the door.

Newkirk slowly opens the door and steps in. He walks up to Hogan where is filling out the Red Cross list.

"Can I talk to you, guv'nr?" Newkirk asks.

"Just a moment." Hogan replies, finishing off his list. He pushes out his chair, and pulls a chair towards him so Newkirk can sit down. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, Colonel," Newkirk starts, a little uneasily, "I was wondering if, well, since your still here, I thought maybe I could—"

"—Go out with Jamie." The colonel finishes.

"'ow'd you know?"

"I may be an officer but I'm not that dumb." Hogan replies, pretending to be offended.

"So is it all right if I go?" Newkirk inquires.

"Sure, she's a nice girl," Hogan smiles, "Tall, blonde, sweet."

Suddenly, Carter barges in exclaiming, "Did someone mention me?"

"No Carter, I don't want to go out on a date with you." Newkirk jokes.

"Gee, I'm glad that you're not my girlfriend." Carter sighs. "What's the point of having a girlfriend when she says 'I don't want to go out on a date with you'"

"You know what, Carter," Newkirk smiles, "I'm glad I'm not your girlfriend, too."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Down in the tunnel, at seven o'clock that night, Kinch notes down the message. He takes off the headphones and signals for LeBeau to get Hogan. The little Frenchman nods. He opens up the tunnel and calls, "A message from London, mon colonel."

Hogan who is still in his office asks Newkirk, "Did you here something?"

"It was shorty tellin' ya we got a message from London." Newkirk replies.

"You shouldn't call him shorty." Hogan scolds, " It's not nice."

"This is war, colonel," Newkirk says, "We can't always afford to be nice."

"Your wrong," Hogan corrects, "This is a POW camp, we _have_ to be nice or it's the cooler."

Hogan and Newkirk exit the office and head for the tunnel, to be stopped by Carter. "Do any of you guys want to play go fish with me?" The sergeant asks.

"Go fish? You 'ave to be kiddin' me?" Newkirk asks, "You know 'ow to play poker."

"Well, yeah, but—" Carter gets cut off by Hogan.

"You don't want to lose any more money." Hogan smiles.

"Well." Carter starts, but finishes with nod.

"You know, Newkirk," Hogan starts, "You need to quit playing poker, you're running us dry."

"Sir, that's like asking 'itler to shave 'is mustache."

Once in the tunnel, Hogan looks over the clipboard. He lets out little murmurs as he reads over it. he brushes his dark hair back with his hand. "Alright, Newkirk." Hogan finally says, "You should be able to get the information about this Burkhalter look-alike tonight."

"Fine, guv'nr." Newkirk nods, "I just need to make some repairs on my uniform."

"Okay, it says to meet him there at about seven-thirty."

"Alright, I'll get right on my uniform." Newkirk says.

"It thought Henderson in barracks seven had your sewing quit." Hogan asks, "How'd you get it from him?"

"I gave 'im a lollypop."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Newkirk sits in the tunnel, sewing his uniform, Jamie saunters up to him. "Whatcha doing?" She asks.

"Just repairing my uniform."

"Um, do you know where Colonel Hogan is?" Jamie inquires.

"'E's talkin' to Klink, "Newkirk replies. "'E's off trying, for the last time, to con Klinkie into letting 'im stay."

"Any luck?"

"Kinch is listening in the coffee pot, and it doesn't seem like it." Newkirk says, and then asks, "Is there something I can do?"

"Well, I wanted know when it would start working as a secretary." She asks.

"By the time 'elga is packed an' all," Newkirk starts, "I should be 'bout a day."

"Great," Jamie sighs, "Twenty-four hours an' nothing to do."

"Jamie?"

"Yes?" She replies.

" 'Ow would you like to go out one night?"

Jamie smiles and sits next to Peter. "I'd love to." She gives him a small peck on the cheek.

Suddenly Carter hops down the ladder. "C'mon guys," Carter says, "LeBeau made us a late-night snack."

"Andrew," Newkirk starts, "Where did you learn to be so annoying?"

"I don't know, I guess I taught myself." Carter replies.

"You're very talented."

Carter smiles, surprised that Newkirk actually called him 'talented'. His smile goes away as he realizes the reason for Newkirk's comment. They reach the barracks and step off of the ladder. "What did you make, Louis?" Newkirk asks.

"Corn bread."

"Sounds good." Jamie smiles, "I love corn bread."

"Anything for you, Mon Sheri." LeBeau says, kissing her hand. Newkirk steps up to them angrily. He grabs LeBeau, picks him up by the collar and carries him to then end off the room.

"Stay away from Jamie." He murmurs through his teeth.

"Why?" LeBeau asks, a little bit mad that Newkirk carried him.

"Because I said so," Newkirk answers angrily, tightening his grip on LeBeau's collar. "That good enough for you?"

"Alright, alright." LeBeau gives in reluctantly, knocking Newkirk's hand off of him.

"Peter!" Jamie calls, breaking up the fight, "Can you come here?"

As he leaves, Newkirk gives LeBeau a mean glare.

"What's the matter?" Newkirk asks, as he walks up to Jamie.

Jamie pats the empty seat next to her, indicating for Newkirk to sit down. "Peter, don't be to hard on them," She smiles reassuringly, "I know it's been along time since they have seen a girl." Newkirk just nods, reluctantly. Jamie says, "You can trust me."

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout?" Carter joins in.

"Leave off, Carter." Sneers Newkirk.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning just before roll call Hogan pulls Newkirk aside………….

" Is your uniform ready?" He asks.

"Yes, sir." Newkirk replies.

"Alright, let's go to roll call." Hogan says, and then stops himself. "One other thing,"

"Yes?"

"Well, I was thinking, " He starts, "After you get the information for the bartender, you can go on a date with Jamie."

"You mean directly after?" Newkirk inquires.

"Yeah."

"Isn't that a little risky, I mean, sneaking 'er in and out?" Newkirk asks, "She'd 'ave to keep up with me, and a bar is no place for a lady."

"Don't worry," Hogan reassures, "I'll have Carter sneak her out after you're done, he comes back, and afterwards you two can come home together."

"Home?" Newkirk laughs, "You call this a home?"

"I like to think of it that way."

"Roll call!" Shultz yells "Everybody out!"

"Alright, alright Shultz," Hogan groans, "Don't lose your head."

"They don't do that anymore." Shultz says, "Now they send us to the Russian Front."

"Wha—" Hogan wrinkles his forehead thinking, then cuts himself off, "Whatever, let's just go to roll call."

"Gut idea!" Shultz smiles, happy finally get his way.

Hogan and Newkirk leave the barracks and stand out on roll call. After Shultz announces that everyone is sort of present, Klink walks up to Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, I just wanted to tell you that I tried to call Major Giesbrecht but the phones are out there so you won't be leaving for a couple days."

Hogan whispers into Newkirk's ear, "That's a break for us."

"What was that, Hogan?" Klink asks.

"I was saying how privileged I am to be able to spend the extra days with you." Hogan smiles, innocently.

"Hogan, even though you've been acting very well lately, I think that second lieutenant will make a decent senior officer." Klink says, adjusting his monocle.

"Why do I have to be so ruddy decent?" Newkirk murmurs to himself.

"Fall out, men." Hogan yells.

All the POWs scatter. Some start to play ball, others just wander, Carter is one of them. Newkirk wander over to him, noticing that Carter doesn't look happy.

"Something the matter, Andrew?"

Carter looks up at Newkirk. He stares down at the ground again. Carter sighs then says, "Well, you know yesterday we were sorta jokin' about me being happy that you aren't my girlfriend because you said that you didn't want to go out on a date with me and—"

"Get to your point, Carter." Newkirk interrupts.

"You see, I was just, sorta, covering up, well, my girlfriend, a few weeks ago, told me that she wanted to break up." Carter stammers, ending with a sigh.

"Tough luck, Andrew." Newkirk grins, patting him on the back, " I've learned never to go out with German girls, they usually turn out to be Gestapo."

"She wasn't Gestapo," Carter sighs, "She just found another man."

"'Ow do you know the new guy wasn't a Gestapo." Newkirk suggests.

Carter smiles. "Yeah, maybe she was a Gestapo and she just got all the information she wanted out of me."

"Carter, you didn't—" Newkirk faces turns serious.

"Nah, I was just joking."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At noon time…

"Alright, Newkirk." Hogan announces. "Our other agent put the car there for you."

Newkirk nods. "You should get some rest before you go." Says Hogan. He nods again.

"Is something on your mind?"

"It's about Carter." Newkirk finally says.

"More complaints about him?" Hogan groans, "Listen Newkirk, we might have stay here for a while, so you have to get used to him, but, believe me, it took me awhile to get used to him too."

"It's not a complaint, it's a request for 'im."

Hogan looks at Newkirk, astounded. "Are you feeling alright?" He laughs.

"Yes," Newkirk smiles, "I was talking to him and 'e said that 'e broke up with 'is girlfriend."

"That's too bad." Hogan sighs. "What did you want to do for him?"

"Remember you told me 'ow 'e would escort Jamie into town then leave." The Englishman asks, taking of his hat and sitting down. Hogan sits down too.

"Yes."

"I thought you might let 'im stay in town." Newkirk concludes.

"And stay with you on your date?"

"No," Newkirk replies, "Just wander around town and pick up a girl of his own."

Hogan smiles at Newkirk's request on Carter behave. Even though the two would fight and tease each other a lot, they would sometime act as close as brothers. He just nods. Newkirk leaves to tell Carter the news. Hogan walks into his office. _"That's awful nice of Newkirk to offer to let Carter come."_ He thinks. _"I think on top of his tough exterior is a real soft and caring guy, I guess that's the same with all of us…_" His mind continues to ponder. _"I wonder, what happened to Carter's cute Blondie at the restaurant?"_ He asks himself, _"What was her name? Mady I think..."_ His mind explores deeper into thought, _"Jamie can't wait to get to her job…" _He ponders. _"I wonder where Helga is going to go?" _There is a knock at the door. "Yes?"

"It's me, colonel!" The voice says. It is Carter's voice.

Hogan smiles, knowing what Carter was going to say. "Come in, Carter." The door opens. Carter comes in with a smile could make his face pop. A smile that looks like it would jump off and spread all over the room. "Is there something I can to for you, Carter?"

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me go into town!" He exclaims, "I mean, it's been along timed since I've been in town and—"

"I get the picture."

"Yeah, I sure am glad, boy—" Carter corrects himself. "Uh, I mean sir."

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**A/N: **

**Shultz: Funfzehn, sechzehn, wait, who is number sechzehn?**

**Hogan: (turns around to see Dreamdog in a Corporal's uniform) ****Oh, that's Dreamdog.**

**Newkirk: (turns around)Yeah, that's Dreamdog all right, she's nice.**

**Shultz: Wait a minute! You said "she". Colonel Hogan, I don't want to pry into your personal life and let you go with that last one. But now two frauleins in the camp! Colonel Hogan! This is an all male POW camp, and we are not prepared for co-ed!**

**Hogan: Relax, Shultz, she is very nice.**

**Shultz: What makes you say that?**

**Newkirk: She gave me a date with Jamie didn't she?**

**Hogan: She also made you an officer.**

**Newkirk: Yeah, she's a ruddy nut.**

**Hogan: But a nice one**

**Newkirk: Yeah, a nice ruddy nut.**

**Carter: That's why you should review!**

**Newkirk: For once I agree with 'im**

**LeBeau: Oui!**

**Shultz: I agree too!**

**Klink: Me too!**

**Carter: Review, review, review.**

**Newkirk: Send a review to the ruddy nut.**

**Hogan: Nice ruddy nut**

**Newkirk: Right, nice ruddy nut.**

**Carter: Review 'The Dull Life Of A POW'!**

**Jamie: (comes out of the barracks in a bikini and kisses Newkirk)**

**Newkirk: (smiles) You call that dull!**

**Carter: (whistles at Jamie)**

**Jamie: (Slaps Carter on the cheek)**

**Carter: (rubs his cheek) Yup.**

**Jamie: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not hit you hard enough? (slaps Carter harder on his other cheek)**

**Carter: You're right, it isn't dull.**

**Newkirk: Are you all right?**

**Carter: Uh-huh. (smiles)I think I have just been hit by love. (Newkirk hold his fist up to Carter's nose) Review this wonderful story, everyone!**

**Newkirk: That sounds like a ruddy good idea to me! (mutters) Then I don't have to listen to you as much.**

**Carter: Did I just do a commercial!**

**Real A/N: Rehehehehehehehehe, I like doing these crazy authors note. Anyhoo, I just wanted to say that updating this chapter wasn't my idea, it was originally part of a much longer chappie but my editor (Seal Pup) told it was already way to long. I just got over a bad case of writers block and I just felt like writing and writing! Uh-oh, Newkirk's in for a bad surprise in the next chapter when he realizes that kindness can sometime backfire.**


	7. Three's Company

_**AN: What the Holy Crap! I lost my entire document page in a computer mix up…and I had to rewrite this chapter! I don't want to get in to details... it's too depressing. Don't just cross you fingers, cross you toes…..and maybe you eyes. **_

**_Alright, in this chapter Newkirk learns what happens when you take Carter on what is supposed to be a romantic date…the hard way… _**

--------- ------- -------- ------- ------ ----- ------ ------ -------

Newkirk leans again the outer walls of the Kommandantur and sighs. _"Blimey, another ruddy day in this ruddy camp." __"One of these bleeding days we ought to tell ol' Klinkie about all the escapes that 'ave went on 'round 'ere." _He chuckles to himself. Newkirk's thoughts are disturbed by someone calling him.

"Hey, Newkirk!" Carter calls, jogging up to the Englishman. He stops in front of Newkirk and smiles.

Newkirk sighs. "What do you want, Andrew?" He asks, taking off his hat.

"What do you think I should wear tonight?" Carter replies,

"'ow should I know?" Newkirk groans, "I'm concentrating on my date, you concentrate on yours."

Carter stares at Newkirk, confused. Noticing this, Newkirk ends the conversation by murmuring, "Forget it."

Newkirk pushes Carter aside to move toward Kinch, who is already walking in his direction.

Kinch smiles, "We just got a message from the underground saying that the bartender can't make it right away."

"Why not?" Newkirk asks, "He better 'ave a good reason."

Kinch laughs. "He has a good reason." Kinch replies, looking past Newkirk's shoulder, "I'll tell you later, our beloved Kommandant's coming." Newkirk nods as Kinch leaves for the barracks.

Klink walk up to Newkirk and salutes. "Good-day, Denver." He smiles. Newkirk smiles back and salutes reluctantly.

"G'day, to you too, Kommandant." Newkirk says, nodding his head slightly.

"Denver, I was wondering whether you would like to come to my quarters tonight for dinner, you know, to get to know each other."

Suddenly, Newkirk becomes pale. _"Blimey, I wanted to go on a date Jamie, now it going to 'ave it with KLINK!" _He thinks. He quickly looks around trying to think of an excuse.

"What's the matter, Denver… you don't look well." Klink asks, concerned.

"I don't feel so good, Colonel." Newkirk quickly replies as he puts his acting to the test. He doubles over, hoping that Klink would believe that he needs to throw up. He grabs onto Klink for support.

Soon after, Colonel Hogan comes sauntering up innocently. "What's up, Lieutenant? Colonel Klink?" He asks, cheerfully.

"Denver here say he doesn't feel well." Klink replies.

"Where does it hurt?" Hogan inquires, equally concerned.

Newkirk pats his stomach, then looks in Hogan's eyes. "Right 'ere, mum!"

"I'm not you mother!"

"Me vision's goin' as well!" Newkirk gasps, falling over. Hogan catches him.

"Kommandant, I'm going to take Denver to the barracks, I think he should have a good long rest," Hogan says slowly, putting his arm around Newkirk to support him.

"But— but, I wanted to invited him for dinner in my quarters." whines the German colonel.

Hogan lets out a sigh of relief, realizing the cause of Newkirk's 'illness'. _You had me fooled there, Newkirk, just please never call me you mother again._ He snaps back to reality and faces Klink.

"Some other time, sir." Hogan gives a smile. Newkirk lets out sigh of relief. Noticing how he looks now, Klink says, excitedly, "He looks better now."

Newkirk puts on 'I'm dieing' face. Hogan pretends to look at him carefully.

"He doesn't too me…" Hogan says.

Klink looks disappointed and sighs, "Oh well, some other time." They all exchange somewhat sloppy salutes. Klink goes back in to the Kommandantur as Hogan and Newkirk, Hogan still holding onto him, leave for their barracks.

As they arrive outside the barracks Hogan lets go of Newkirk.

"Alright, very nice joke—and please forgive me for the thought of punching you in the nose when you called me your mother, I appreciated the men under my command looking up to me, but not _exactly_ like that." Hogan shoots sarcastically, giving Newkirk a half angry, half joking glare.

Newkirk takes of his hat and shrugs. "I wasn't joking, sir." He grins, trying to look innocent, "Some'ow the thought of spending the entire night with a stinking kraut like Klink, instead of with a beautiful girl like Jamie, makes me feel sick in my stomach."

Hogan smirks, "I know the feeling."

------ ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

Once inside the barracks, Hogan goes straight for his office, while Newkirk heads for the table to sit next to Jamie who is playing cards with Carter.

"What's new, love?" Newkirk asks, giving Jamie a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, not much," She starts, hopping onto his lap then giving him a hug, "I've won three straight games, against Andrew, of 'cheat'—"

"She's cheating, I tell you!" Carter interrupts, jumping up. Newkirk shoots him a mean look. Carter sits down.

"And," Jamie continues, pretending not to here what Carter said, "Andrew won three game of 'war'; he's pretty good at that."

Newkirk sighs, "To bad 'e can't use it on the real thing..."

Just then, Kinch comes up from the tunnel. "I'm glad you're back, Newkirk." He smiles, "Before you said you wanted to know the bartender's good reason for missing your appointment."

"Yeah, and you said 'e 'ad a good one."

Kinch laughs. After he settles downs, he sits next to Newkirk. "It's a birthday party for his ninety-five year old mother." He replies.

"So…." Kinch continues, "You'll be meeting another agent first, his name is Willie, he'll tell you were to meet our party-going bartender, then you can meet up with Jamie and enjoy yourself 'till Carter comes and tell you your time is up, and last but not least you'll get in touch with the bartender."

"At what time do I meet the other agent?" asks Newkirk, sipping a cup of coffee.

Kinch picks up a piece of paper from the table. He folds it up and places it in Newkirk's pocket. "That's the time table; it also has the place to meet then other agent." Kinch says, "Keep it save, my type write broke down and I can't write anymore."

Newkirk takes it out and reads it, "Agent seven-thirty to eight, date eight to eleven, bartender eleven and on—?"

"Yep, we're not sure how long it's going to take for you to get the information. It's top secret so we can't take chances on rushing through it. "replies Kinch.

Newkirk looks at it again. "Isn't eleven a bit late to meet the bartender?"

"He can't help it, his mother like parties."

Newkirk smirks, "And we can't take 'im away from 'is mum, now can we?"

"Definitely not!"

----- ----- ---------- ----- ------ ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ------ ----

Down near the end of tunnel five, Jamie is in her little make-shift room deciding her apparel for the night, when she spots Carter passing by.

"Hmm…" She ponders, "Oh, hey, Andrew!" Carter turns her way and starts towards her.

"Do you need something?" He asks, entering her room. She nods and shuffles through a duffle bag. She pulls out a couple dresses out of the bag.

"Yeah…uh, one moment…um, okay. What do you think I should wear tonight?" Jamie says, holding up in-front of her a white, knee length, dress with a line of blue and pink flowers around the waist and an ankle-length flaming red dress. Carter pauses for a couple second, looking over the dresses.

"I like the white one." He concludes.

"Thanks." Jamie smiles, setting down the red dress on her bed and looking through her bag again. She pulls out a green silk scarf and wraps it around her neck. "This scarf comes with it do you like it?" Carter nods. Carter then stops his nodding and looks around her bed curiously.

"Something the matter?" She asks, looking at the spot Carter's looking trying to find something.

"How did you get so many clothes in a POW camp?" Carter inquires, searching through the bag.

Jamie giggles. "Oh that, well, you see, I had all these clothes in my plane and when I was shot down I grabbed my bag, so I parachuted down I had a bag full of clothes with me." She explains. "I didn't really expect to be in a POW camp." She blushes a little. "'least not in an all-male one."

"Wow," Carter says in awe, looking at all the clothes, "What do you have in there?"

"I have a couple dresses, a skirt with a matching sweater, a couple of blouses, some, uh, lingerie."

Just then, Colonel Hogan passes by. Seeing that Jamie is in there, he stops. "Hi, Jamie." The colonel greets.

"Hello, colonel." Jamie smiles. She quickly grabs her hair brush off of her bed and starts brushing her hair. "I was just trying to figure out what to wear tonight, Andrew was helping."

Hogan smiles and puts his arm around Carter's shoulder. "Wouldn't y'know, we have a fashion consultant among us." He jokes. Hogan and Jamie laugh but Cater just stands there. Hogan looks around the neatly kept room and happens to spot Jamie's bag full of clothing.

"Jamie…" Hogan starts slowly, "I know when you were shot down you brought down clothes with you, but…why did you bring _so _many?"

Jamie takes a step closer to him and smiles, "Well, colonel, some people like to travel light."

_Light? She calls that 'light'…I wonder what Newkirk getting himself into... _Hogan thinks. He shrugs and turns to leave but Jamie stops him by putting her hand on his shoulder. He turns around.

"And I'm not one of them."

---- ----- ------ ----- ----- ----- ------ ------ ----- ----- ------ ----

Later that evening, at about six o'clock, Newkirk has just finished getting into his civilian suit and is ready to leave. He looks in a mirror and does the final touches. As he goes towards to the tunnel, Jamie, who is sitting at the table, stops him. She stands up and walks towards him.

She stands in front of his and fixes his tie. Looking up at him, she smiles. "Be careful." She gives him a kiss.

The other men sitting at the table watch them, snickering. Newkirk then goes to the bunk and slams on it twice. The bunk ascends and Newkirk steps onto the first rung then stops, he glances at Jamie, who blows him a kiss. He then promptly climbs down to the tunnel. Once in the tunnel, he fallows the lamps on the tunnel walls until he reaches the exit where Colonel Hogan is waiting for him.

"Ready to go?" Hogan asks. Newkirk nods. "You know the recognition code…so you should be all set. Be sure to watch out for the goons, I heard a lot of Gestapo are roaming around; those guys never have a place to go. Be careful, if I'm leaving we can't take a chance to lose another senior officer." The colonel sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, well, as I said, be careful."

"Anything you say, colonel." Newkirk smiles, opening up the hatch.

Hogan chuckles as Newkirk climbs out. "Man, there's never a tape-recorder when you need one. Peter Newkirk, hottest headed corporal in the world following an order perfectly. Then again, it's been a strange week."

-------- --------- -------- -------- -------- --------- ------- ------

As Newkirk enters the little town Hammelberg, he glances around for Gestapo. Seeing that there are none, he proceeds to the bar. As he enters the bar he sticks a cigarette in his mouth and lights it.

He sits down at a chair in front of the bar where a girl with short blonde hair is cleaning the counter.

"Uh…excuse me _fraulein_…can you help me?" Newkirk asks, quietly

"Of course, Herr. My name is Leisl; can I get you a drink?" She smiles.

"Well, _ja_." Newkirk starts, uneasily. "I'll have schnapps."

"_Jawohl, _right away." Leisl says, getting a bottle of schnapps and a small glass.

"Excuse me, Leisl, but, uh—" Newkirk is interrupted by her handing the schnapps to him. "Oh, _danke_."

"_Ja_?_ Was ist los?_" Leisl asks.

Newkirk nods then continues, "Well, _fraulein_, I was wondering if you know a man by the name of Willie?" Leisl simply shakes her head.

"Sorry; I don't know anyone here by the name of Willie. You see, I just got this job." She apologizes. She just stares straight out as if thinking. A smile then forms on her as Newkirk is about to leave. "Wait—wait a minute, _Herr_!" Newkirk turns around and then sits back down.

"_Was_? Have you thought of somebody?" Newkirk grins.

"_Ja, Ja_!" She starts very proudly, by now her eyes are big and bright and her smile is broad. "I have an Uncle Willie!"

Newkirk groans as her puts his face in his hands.

"Yes! Actually my great-uncle." Leisl continues, her voice booming with pride, "He just got married last month; now I have an Aunt Elsa." She giggles a little bit. "He's ninety years old and just got married. Isn't that silly?"

"_Ja_...silly."

"Of course he was married once before when he was very young, to a woman named Hilda, but she died." The young woman states, pouring Newkirk a new drink. "And my older brother and his wife, Lily, had a baby! So I have a niece named Gretchen, she very cute. Now she is three month years old and she already can take a few steps!"

"How cute." Newkirk moans, trying to sound interested and polite but failing. "I'm very sorry Leisl, but I have to go now. _Auf Weidersehen_." Newkirk sets down his drink and starts to walk off.

"Wait, I want to introduce you to someone!" Leisl calls.

"_What 'ave I done to deserve this?" _Newkirk asks, slightly looking up as if asking heaven. Once again, he turns around and walks to the counter. "Yes?"

She smiles broadly again, as she gets out from behind the counter. She is wearing an apron with a large pocket. She sticks her hand in the pocket and pulls out a little smooth hair dachshund. The dog looks around wagging his little tail and lets out a little bark.

"Johann!" She beams. "Isn't he the handsomest, strongest little thing you have ever seen?" She holds out little Johann. "Do you want to hold him?"

Newkirk reluctantly nods as Leisl hand him the little dog.

"Listen, _fraulein_ I have to be going, I—"

"Hold on a minute, Herr." She starts, "I'll prepare you a beer and you can get to know Johann!"

Newkirk looks at her shining eyes._ Blimey, I wouldn't be able to bear 'urting 'er feelings, but… _he looks at his watch, _Jamie will be 'ere in a few minutes…I better get this over with._

"Okay, fraulein but…I...I have to hurry." Newkirk tries to grin. Leisl quickly get a beer glass and serves some as Newkirk just sits there patting the little dachshund. She gives him the beer as Newkirk starts to hand her back Johann.

"Wait, ask Johann if he wants a sip of your beer." Leisl instructs, putting Johann back into Newkirk's arms. Newkirk looks at her awkwardly.

"C'mon, just ask him. The way he replies is so cute." Leisl encourages.

Newkirk sighs and looks down at Johann. "Johann, would you like a…a sip of my…uh, beer?" Johann looks up at Newkirk and puts on a cute little 'doggy smile'. He starts panting.

"That means yes." Leisl clarifies. Newkirk nods slowly. He then once again, tries to give Johann back to Leisl. "_Herr_." She says, again, "Aren't you going to give him some?"

"What? _Fraulein_, do you want a drunken dog on your hands?"

"Don't worry; he handles his alcohol very well."

Newkirk buries his head in his hands. _"I've always liked dogs, but now this is a bit much!" _Newkirk thinks. He looks up at Leisl again.

Newkirk sets Johann down on the counter. He moves the glass of beer closer to Johann and then lift the little dog down up so he can drink. Johann takes a couple laps then sticks his head up and lets out a little burp.

"I think he likes you!" Leisl announces, proudly. She stretches out her arm and gives Johann a pat, "He doesn't just let out a cute burp like that for anyone!"

"I'm sure he doesn't…but, I have to go now." Newkirk says quickly. He stands up, leaving Johann and the beer on the counter. "_Auf wiedersehen_, Leisl, _auf wiedersehen_…Johann."

"_Auf Wiedersehen_!" Leisl calls as Newkirk opens the door. "Come back soon and say hello to Johann!"

Newkirk just runs out the door. Doing so, he knocks down a man who was about to enter the bar.

"Sorry." Newkirk apologizes, helping the man up.

"That's alright…um…" The man stammers, his German accent very thin. He looks up at the starry night. "Lots of stars in the sky, aren't there?"

Newkirk ignores the question and starts off, but the man grabs his arm. "I said, lots of stars in the sky, aren't there?" He repeats, more firmly now. Newkirk pull his arm out of the man's grasp, then very slowly turns around and looks at him.

Newkirk looks up also. "Yes," He replies, casually. "The north star seems to be shining very bright this season."

"True." The man continues, with a slight nod. "I'm sure a lot of _liebchens_ are walking by its light right about now."

"Walk in the winter, get married in the spring."

"It's an amazing journey."

"What wonderful treasures will it bring?" Newkirk ends, softly. Suddenly, his face turns red and he yells, "What took so long, Willie? I was stuck in there with a nut and 'er drunk dog!"

"W-well, don't blame me…my car broke down and it is so cold, I couldn't walk—"

"Walk! For your information, _I _walked 'ere!"

"Alright, alright…you'll be meeting the bartender at the bar in the lobby of the hotel 'Hotel Kaiser'." Willie says, pulling his brown bangs out of his eyes. Newkirk just grabs his hand and shakes it.

"Thanks mate." Newkirk says, rushing off.

-------- --------- -------- -------- -------- --------- ------- ------

Jamie takes in a deep breath of the night air. She pulls her trench coat closer around her body and puts her hair behind her ears.

"Oh, Andrew…it's cold!" Jamie complains, using the collar of her coat to keep her neck warm. "How much farther?"

Carter coughs into his hand. He pulls his hat down over his ears. "D-don't worry, Jamie." Carter says, rubbing his hands together. "We're almost there."

Jamie puts her gloved hands on her cheeks and looks up. Snow starts to come down. A tear trickles down her cheek.

"Andrew, it's snowing, and I'm freezing to death!" Another tear trickles down. Carter coughs again and gets closer to Jamie.

"We're here!" Carter announces. Just then, Newkirk comes running up to them.

"I'm sorry I took so long, love." Newkirk apologizes, taking hold of Jamie and giving a kiss on the cheek.

"That's alright." Carter says. Newkirk turns around and looks at Carter.

"I wasn't talking to you." Newkirk fumes, "When was the last time I called you 'love'?"

"Well, there was that one time when—" Carter stops feeling Newkirk's grip around his throat.

"Peter, I'm cold! I want to go inside!" Jamie persists, grabbing onto Newkirk arm. Newkirk looks at Jamie, then back at Carter.

"Alright, Jamie." He gives in. As they start to walk into the restaurant, Carter looks at them awkwardly.

"What do I do?" asks Carter.

"Go jump in a lake." As Newkirk says it, Jamie grabs his arm.

"Huh?"

"Find something to do!"

-------- --------- -------- -------- -------- --------- ------- ------

Inside the restaurant is a beautiful little place; the lights are dimmed to make a romantic atmosphere. The tables are set around in a ring to make room for couples to dance. Soft music plays from a phonograph in the corner of the room. The tables have either white or burgundy table cloths along with a rose and candles. The waiters are wearing white jackets, black pants and red bow ties. They also have carnations in they're lapels. The walls are soft beige color; there is a border of roses.

"Peter, this place is beautiful!" Jamie exclaims, looking around. She takes off her snowy jacket and shakes it. She giggles, "Not to mention, it's nice and warm!"

A grey-haired man in a waiter's uniform come up to them and smiles. "Hello, my name is Georg and I will be your waiter for tonight." He says, in a thick German accent. He leads them up to a table near to where couples are dancing. Once they are settled in, Georg gives them menus and then asks, "What can I get you for your cocktail?"

"Martini?" Newkirk asks Jamie. She smiles anxiously.

Newkirk turns back to Georg and says, "Two martinis." Georg nods and takes it down on a notepad, then leaves.

"I love martinis." Jamie smiles, putting her hair behind her ears.

"I thought officers weren't supposed to drink on duty?" Newkirk asks, jokingly.

Jamie just tilts her head. She then looks Newkirk in the eye and smirks, "Y'know I heard that you don't really…like officers."

"Well, I—" Jamie put her finger over Newkirk's mouth.

Jamie smiles slyly as she leans back in her chair. "Don't worry, sweetie….I'll fix that…resentment for you."

-------- --------- -------- -------- -------- --------- ------- ------

Hogan grins as he pulls in all the money from the center of the table. "I wonder how Jamie and Newkirk are doing."

LeBeau simply shrugs. "You deal, mon colonel."

Hogan grabs the deck, shuffles and then. They throw in they're antes. LeBeau picks up his cards them slams them back on the table. "I fold. Wouldn't you believe it? Newkirk's not here and I still can't win."

Hogan chuckles as he picks up the money. "Hmm." He smiles, "I hope Carter not getting in the way, I was nice of Newkirk to let him come...but, I don't know."

LeBeau laughs, "Newkirk has probably shot Carter and skipped off to Switzerland with Jamie."

Hogan only smiles. "And you wouldn't do the same?"

"Of course I would, but it's alright for me," LeBeau says, "I'm French."

Hogan simply tilts his head and smiles as he fixes his money into a nice pile. "You deal."

----- ----- ----- ----- ------ ----- ------ ----- ---- ---- -----

Georg comes up to Jamie's and Newkirk's table with a tray. "Here are your drinks." Georg says as he places one glass in front of Jamie and one in front of Peter.

"_Danke_, Georg." Peter replies.

"Your welcome." Georg smiles, "Are you ready to order?"

Peter glances at Jamie who picks up a menu and looks at it. It is in German.

"Oh…do you think we could have some more time to think it over?" She asks, pretending to read the menu.

"Of course." Georg nods, "I will be back in a couple minute." He leaves for the kitchen.

"Peter, I don't speak German." Jamie shakes her head as she sets the menu on the table. "I can't figure out what do order, can you?" Peter picks up the menu and glances through it.

"I'm sorry, Jamie, I speak a little kraut, but not much." He replies.

"Hmm, do you think they'd try to kill us if we admitted we don't speak German?" Jamie asks, looking at the menu again. Peter doesn't reply. She sighs, "I'll take that as a yes."

"Jamie I—"

Jamie quickly puts her hair behind her ears and smiles. "Peter, why don't you call me by my nickname…it is Sandy."

Newkirk holds her hand and kisses it. "That a beautiful nickname…Sandy."

"Uh-huh." She smiles. "I always liked being called it. My parents gave me that nickname because my middle name is Sandra. Also, everyone used to say I had a sandy complexion." They both smile and tap they're drinks together.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Shultz opens the door to the barracks so he can come in from the cold. He shakes the snow off his coat then goes over to stove to warm up. He looks around at the men sitting around.

When he doesn't see Cater and Newkirk he screams, "Colonel Hogan!"

Hogan comes out of his office and yawns. "What's the matter now, Shultz?" He groans, stretching, and then sitting down at the table. He pours himself a cup up coffee.

"W-w-where is Newkirk and Carter!" Shultz asks, "And—and that fraulein, what's her name, uh…the lieutenant!"

Pretending, not to pay attention to Shultz, Hogan picks up a book and starts scanning through it.

"Jamie." Hogan states, not looking up from his book.

"_Ja_, that's the one…where are they?"

"Well…you see, Newkirk was gettin' a little rock happy…an y'know he has a thing for Lieutenant Winsor, well, I said it was alright for them to go on a little date." Hogan explains.

"A Date! Did Kommandant Klink say it was alright?"

"Aww, c'mon Shultz, Klink has no sense of romance!" Hogan puts on an innocent smile. Shultz shakes his head, trying to forget what Hogan said.

"What about Carter?" Shultz finally asks.

"I'm glad you asked." Hogan grins, "It's the sweetest part, y'see, Carter told Newkirk that one of his girlfriends in town dumped him, and he was really upset. So then Newkirk came to me and asked whether he Carter could come along, on the date, and stay in town to pick a girl or something."

Shultz smiles, "Aww…that is sweet…" a second later Shultz's smiles disappears and is replaces is a shocked expression. "What am I thinking? Is it sweet that I am going to be sent to the Russian front?"

"Well, you might find some cute Russian." Hogan suggests, raises his eyebrows.

"Colonel, Russians with beards and rifles aren't cute!" Shultz yells.

"They have bearded ladies is Russia?"

"Arrrrgh!"

------ ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

"Sandy, would you like to dance?" Newkirk asks as he finishes off his martini.

"I'd love to." She takes a couple last sips of her drink then sets her glass down.

Newkirk stands up first. He goes over to Jamie's chair and pulls it out as she stands up. They move over to the area were people are dancing. Newkirk takes her into his arms. Jamie backs off for a moment. She slowly gazes around the room. She takes a deep breath, and then melts into Newkirk's arms. They start a slow cheek-to-cheek dance. Jamie sighs as she places her head on Newkirk's shoulder. Newkirk slips his hands around her waist as Jamie closes her eyes and follows Newkirk's lead.

Jamie asks in a low voice, "Or are we floating on air."

"Don't you ask the angels that are flying around?"

Jamie laughs as she opens her eyes and looks around. She sees Georg coming towards they're table. "Peter, I'd hate to disrupt the angels, but we need to get back to our table, Georg is on his way."

"Alright, love." Peter smiles, giving her a small kiss. "We can get back to this later." They go back to they're table and arrive at about the same time Georg does.

"Are you ready to order?" asks Georg.

"Well…um, do you have a special?" Newkirk inquires slowly, pretending to at the menu.

"_Ja_," Georg states, he bends over next to Newkirk and points to a dish shown on the menu, "Today's special is, for soup, there is a carrot soup, then a delicious pot roast with vegetables _und_ potatoes, then for desert, we have black forest cake."

Peter turns to Jamie, "What do you think, _liebchen_?"

"That sounds great." Jamie smiles, she looks closely at the picture of the dish on the menu.

"We will have that, Georg." Peter replies, setting down the menu. Georg takes the menus then leaves. Peter turns to Jamie and twirls her hair with his finger. "Would you like to get back to that dance?"

"Nah, why we just sit here for a while…get to know each other." She says, smiling.

"Will this do?" Peter leans forwards to kiss her. They're lips meet into a deep, passionate kiss.

"Watcha' doing guys?" Jamie and Peter separate and look around. Carter's head pops over Jamie's shoulder and grins at Newkirk.

"Carter!" Peter yells.

"Please, Peter, don't yell." Jamie complains. She turns to Carter and asks, "Andrew, what are you doing here?"

"Well, were did you expect me to be?" Carter asks.

"In—" Newkirk stops seeing Jamie shaking her head. "Carter, just get out of here!"

"But…I have nowhere to go." Carter says. Jamie looks at him sympathetically while Newkirk only scowls.

Jamie points to an empty table at the corner of the room. "Andrew…why don't you go sit over there, and have something to eat." She suggests in a sweet voice, "Alright?"

Newkirk groans.

"Sure!" Carter nods. "I'm really starved, in fact, I haven't had anything since lunch and—"

Fixing her hair, Jamie interrupts, "Okay, just go sit over there and I'm sure a waiter will go over to you."

"Okay." Nodding again, Carter starts over for the table.

"Um, Peter?" Jamie turns back to Peter after she makes sure Carter sat down. She looks at him, uneasily.

Not knowing what to expect, Peter replies, "Yes, love?"

Jamie finally smiles. "Maybe—maybe we should back to that dance?"

"Ah…okay." He stands up and walks to her side of the table. He pulls out her chair as Jamie slowly stands up. After smoothing out her dress, she takes hold of Peter's hand and they walk to the dance floor.

Once again, they melt into each other's arms and start dancing. Jamie places her head on his shoulder as she smiles to herself. Her eyes close as they glide slowly around the room. Peter is about to hold her closer when he feels a light tap on his left shoulder. He groans inwardly. Letting go of Jamie, he turns around to see Carter standing there innocently.

"Carter." He murmurs through his teeth. Jamie also sees Carter. She simply takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes. "What are you doing?"

Carter makes a face as if the answer is obvious. "Well, I came here…to get a dance!" He smiles.

Trying not to lose his temper, Newkirk glances at Jamie. She shrugs and sighs lightly.

"…yeah…" She scratches the back of her neck and tries to grin. "Fine with me."

Hearing this, Carter takes hold of Newkirk's hands and starts trying to dance with him.

"What the—what are you doing?" Newkirk fumes, pushing Carter away from him.

Jamie giggles.

"Well, gee—I've never danced with a _girl_ before." Carter makes another obvious face. Offering a slight grin, he attempts to continue the one-sided dance. Newkirk pushes im off again.

"Go away, Carter…" Newkirk growls, taking hold of Jamie and starting to dance with her again.

Carter makes a sad face. "Grouchy…"

"Me grouchy! You the one that wanted to start the bloody dance!"

Jamie winces. "Oh, c'mon guys, stop fighting…Andrew just go over to your table and wait for someone to come and help you! And Peter, let just go sit down and wait for our food!"

Carter walks away, still confused. "Why didn't he want to dance?"

Newkirk groans as he and Jamie sit back down. "Blimey, I never should've let 'im come along." He smiles slightly, "I'm sorry, Jamie."

"No, no—it's alright…not your fault, or his…it's nobody's fault." Jamie shakes her head. "He didn't any mean any harm."

Newkirk sighs. "Jamie, 'e never means any 'arm, but 'e always causes it." Jamie looks at him awkwardly. "Believe me, love. I've been living with 'im for the past two years."

Ten minutes later, Georg comes with the soup. While enjoying they're soup, Jamie and Newkirk are again interrupted by Carter who claims he is bored and wanted to sit with them. After being firmly rejected by Newkirk, Carter mopes back to his table where he eats a ham sandwich.

After Jamie and Newkirk's soup is finished, Georg takes the bowls away and states that the roast will be coming soon. As he said, Georg soon brought a good sized roast to their table.

"Wow. That looks really good, Georg!" Jamie exclaims, sniffing the roast.

"_Ja_, I'm glad you are pleased. It is one of our specialties. Everyone enjoys it." Georg smiles gently at her as he sets the roast on the table. He starts cutting the roast up. He serves it to Jamie and Peter then hold up a gravy boat. "Would either of you like gravy?" Both nod. He pours healthy servings of gravy on each of the pieces of roast.

"_Danke_ Georg." Newkirk says. Georg nods as he leaves the table.

Jamie cut a piece of her roast and tastes it. "Peter, it's delicious!" She smiles. "How did you find out about such a great restaurant?"

Peter grins as he points over to a girl serving someone at a table. "That's Lottie, a 'friend' of Colonel 'ogan's."

Jamie giggles. Doing so, she chokes on the piece of roast and starts coughing.

"You alright, love?" Peter asks, patting her on the back. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yeah. Something to drink." She coughs once more. Peter raises his hand, signaling for Georg who is walking by on the other side of the room.

Georg arrives at the table. "How may I help you?"

"Um, could we have something to drink?" Peter asks.

Georg smiles. "_Ja_. I'm sorry. Will white wine do?" They both nod

A short while later, Georg returns with two wine glasses and places them in front of Newkirk and Jamie. "_Hier ist Ihr Wein. Ich werde später zurückkommen, als Sie alle Ihre Speise beendet haben_." He says. Then he walks away.

"Um…Peter..." Jamie begins, sipping the wine. "What did he say?"

Newkirk grins sheepishly. "Believe me, love, I 'aven't got a bloody idea!"

----- ------ -------- ------ ------- ----------- -------- -------- -------

After about another two hours of a miserable date, due to Carter, it is time for Jamie to leave back for Stalag Thirteen and for Newkirk to meet up with the bartender.

"Bye." Jamie says, giving Peter a kiss. "I'll see you back at camp alright?"

"Alright." Peter nods, starting to shuffle through his pockets.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asks.

"I'm gettin' the money to pay." He responds, pulling some papers out of his pocket. Realizing they are not money he stuffs them back.

Jamie groans, pulling some marks out of her purse. "Let me pay."

Georg comes over to them, holding out his hand. "You can pay me."

"_Vielen Dank_._ Es war köstlich_!" She smiles, handing him the money. "_Hier ist zwei marks für die mahlzeit und zwanzig pfenning für eine spitze_."

"_Danke_, _Wir sind froh Sie haben gemocht es_._ Bitte kommen Sie bald zurück_!" Georg smiles, taking the money. He leaves for the kitchen.

"_Ja_!"

Newkirk takes hold of Jamie and asks her, "I thought you said that you don't speak German?"

Jamie blushes. "Well…I never said that I couldn't imitate a German phrases I've heard…did I?" She smiles gently and whispers to him, "To tell you the truth I couldn't understand anything he said."

Newkirk laughs slightly. "I better go now, that ruddy party going bartender better be there when I get there," He punches his fist into his hand. "Or I'll give 'im something to party about." He gives her a small kiss then quickly runs out the door.

Jamie smiles as she pulls her jacket on. She looks out the window at the snow rapidly coming down. She sighs, then with a faint smile says, "C'mon Andrew, let go back to Stalag thirteen."

------ ------- --------- -------- -------- ------ ------- ----- -------

Once arrived back at camp, Jamie heads straight for her room. After taking off her clothes that had gotten wet from the snow; she slips into a comfy nightgown and curled up in her bed. She sighs contentedly. _Oh, well…there'll be more chances for a better date…_ Her mind begins to wanders. Her eyes look from object to object in the room. She looks at her watch on her table. _Eleven forty-nine…and nine seconds…and ten…and eleven… _She rubs her cold hands together, pulling her blanket all the way to her neck. She sniffles slightly.She wraps her blanket around her body and stands up. Taking up the candle on the table and a match, she strikes the match against the rough wall lighting it. She then uses it to light her candle. She returns to her cot and sets the candle on the floor next to the bed.

A knock at the door. "Who is it?" She calls from her bed.

"Colonel Hogan." He replies, "Can I come in?"

Jamie smiles slightly. "Yeah." She sits up as Hogan enters.

"Hi, Jamie…how are you doing?" He asks sitting down on a chair.

"Fine..." Jamie sighs.

"Carter told me that the date was lots of fun …" Hogan says slowly. Seeing Jamie's annoyed expression, he continues, "…so I'll assume that it wasn't that great for you and Newkirk."

A small smile slowly creeps onto her face. She stands up, being careful not to step on the candle. Starting to pace around, she nods.

Hogan sighs then changes the subject, "LeBeau just made some crepe suzette as a midnight snack, do you want some? I can bring some down to you if you want."

"No, no…I'll go up to have some. I don't think being alone is the best thing for me." She blows out the candle then slips on, over her nightgown, a dress. Hogan takes her hand and guides her through the tunnels until they reach the exit. Jamie climbs first followed by Hogan.

Carter greets her as she reaches the top. "Hi Jamie!" He exclaims, cheerfully. Jamie doesn't reply, she simply turns away from him and sits down. "Um…I said 'Hi'…Jamie."

Jamie looks at him blankly. "Hello, Carter." She says, flatly.

Carter laughs. "That's funny; she used to call me Andrew!"

LeBeau looks at a calendar on the wall. "Well, she's known you a little less than a week…that's about the time people start to hate you." Everyone laughs.

"Is that crepe suzette ready yet, LeBeau?" Kinch asks, sniffing the crepe suzette cooking on the stove.

"Be patient,_ mon ami_." LeBeau replies, "This cannot be rushed! Do you want it to become flavor-less?"

Kinch backs of. "No way, Louis. I'm just hungry!"

LeBeau smiles gently. "That's alright." He says, "I will be ready in a moment." "Ah...here it is!" He slips on piece onto a plate and set it on the table.

Kinch grins, turning to Jamie. "Here, ladies first." He places the plate in front of her and passes her a fork and knife.

"Thanks, Kinch." Jamie smiles. She cuts a piece and then tastes it. "Mmm…this is good Louis."

LeBeau nods his head. "I'm glad you like it, Jamie, it was my mother's own special recipe." He passes out plates with more crepe suzette to everyone in the room. "Enjoy, this is dedicated to her."

They all raise they're plate in the air and say, "To LeBeau's Mother!"

----- ----- ------ ------ ----- ------ ----- ----- ------ ------

Newkirk glances down at his watch. _Twelve o'clock… _Newkirk thinks as he takes a sip of his whiskey. _What's takin' the bartender so bloody long? 'E was supposed to be here an 'our ago. _He pulls up the collar of his coat and slides down his seat to prevent from being seen by the Gestapo officer sitting at the table across from him. _Ruddy Gestapo always show up when you really don't need 'em; an' never there when you do. _Newkirk slowly turns away from the officer. _Looks like one of 'ochstetter's men._ He looks at his watch and gawks at the time. _I'll bet that bloody bartender's off getting drunk with his bloody mother. I 'ope 'e's 'aving fun, 'cause I sure ain't. _

A minute later, a young American, in his twenties, bursts in the door, sweaty and disheveled. He rushes to the bar in the corner of the lobby and asks for a shot of whisky. Newkirk's eyes followed his as he takes seems to be heading straight for him.

Sure enough, the man comes to Newkirk's table and prepares to seat himself on the chair in front him.

"Do you mind if I sit here…sir?" The young man asks, timidly, as he pulls out the chair.

Newkirk shrugs, smiling slightly at the boy's politeness. "I don't mind." He gestures with his head for him to sit down.

The man smiles. "Thanks, uh, my name is Frederick." He sips his whisky. Leaning forward, Frederick says in a lower voice, "Are you Corporal Newkirk from Stalag Thirteen?"

Newkirk frowns slightly, pulling his collar up. "Not a ruddy smart thing to ask if I wasn't."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Frederick continues, "I was sent here as soon as the underground heard."

"'eard what?"

"Well, about three hours ago, the agent who was supposed to meet you," Frederick replies.

"Meaning the bartender." Newkirk deducts.

Nodding, Frederick goes on, "He's been captured by the Gestapo, we suspect that on his way from the party, the krauts pick him up and started to interrogate him. Something must have slipped, 'cause they found out that he worked for the underground."

"'E didn't tell 'em anything else, did 'e?" Newkirk asks, sipping his drink.

"We're not sure, but we don't think so, he's a good man. To bad we can't think of any way to save him."

Newkirk thinks for a moment. Finishing off his drink he looks at Gestapo at the table next to him, who now has two more Gestapo agent getting drunk with him.

Newkirk turns back to Frederick. "You do 'ave the information I need, right?"

Frederick slowly shakes his head. "Sorry, we never take chances of making extras of information, it's just to risky! And the bartender had the only copy…" His face brightens up. "We might be able to get the information again, but it would take awhile."

Newkirk sighs. "And we bloody well need it now. Our last bloody mission and the bloody Gestapo 'ave to bloody mess it up."

Frederick winces. "Ugh, stop talking about blood, you're making me nauseous."

------ ------ ---- ---- ------- ---- --- ---- ----- ---- ----- ----- -----

After leaving town, as he walks briskly through the deepest part of he woods, Newkirk notices a small shadow in the shrubs. _Probably a fox_. The woods were dark, but slightly lighted up by the moon and stars.

A ruffle of leaves. Newkirk quickly turns around and tries to see what's there. _C'mon, Peter. Your just making your nervous thinking of all the Gestapo around 'ere_. But as he turns back to the trail, he hears a sharp, raspy voice, "Corporal!"

Newkirk, picking up pace, tries to ignore the voice, thinking it is all in his head.

"Corporal…"

_That voice sounds familiar…_

"Corporal Newkirk!"

_That's it!_

Newkirk hastily turns around and runs to the shrubs where he thought he saw a shadow. Searching around it for a second, he finally finds a body lying covered in leaves. Slowly trying to turn him over, Newkirk feels something wet and sticky on his fingers.

"Blood." He says quietly to himself.

Finally able to turn the figure over, Newkirk shakes his slightly. "Barkeep…is that you?"

"_Ja_…" he replies, breathless.

Newkirk notices the several cuts on his face, he takes of his scarf and cleans them the best he can. "I—I thought that you were…um...with the Gestapo?"

"I was…they were beating me up when there was an air raid…" The bartender breaks off.

Newkirk keeps up the conversation, giving the other man a rest, "Yeah, I heard it."

"Well, when that happened, a lot of the Gestapo…left…they…"

"Forget about it; let me get you to 'elp." Newkirk slowly picks up the bartender.

Newkirk lifts him up and starts walking towards the bartender's house.

---- ---- --- ---- ----- ----- ---- --- -- ------- ----- ----- ------- ------

Jamie paces quickly back and forth in front of the tunnel entrance. She runs her fingers through her thick blonde hair. "What could be taking his so long, Colonel?" She asks impatiently. "I mean, he's…how many hours late? It's been so many I can't count it! He could be lying along the road dead, somewhere…ooh, when I get my hands on him…er…does he like German girls? He could be off somewhere with some flashy fraulein!"

"Calm down, Jamie!" Hogan finally yells, "I'm sure he's just taking time on the walk home. It's a really nice night!"

"Yeah, right…" Jamie groans as she lights a cigarette.

"…I'm not sure a cigarette is going very good for your nerves…" Hogan states, "It's just going to make you more nervous!"

"Colonel!" Jamie exclaims, "I nerves are in bad enough shape! They cannot get any worse!" She gets on one of the empty bunks and sprawls out. As she is rolling over, she feels something hard on her back. She lifts up the covers and finds a whiskey bottle half full. She looks at it then points it out to Colonel Hogan, "I very tempted."

----- ----- ----- ----- ------ -------- -------- ------ ----- ---- ----- -------

_A car motor…?_

Newkirk quickly turns around, on the stretch of road behind him he sees to pairs of lights. _A bloody car…all I need! _

He jumps to the side of road and drags the bartender behind a pile of brush. Slapping the bartender's cheek slightly he say, "C'mon wake up…I need to leave you now, are you alright?"

The bartender's eyes bolt open. After a few deep breathes he smiles at Newkirk. "_Ja_, I'm fine. You just get back to your Stalag, I'll be alright."

"Okay…you think you came make back it to your house alright?" The Englishman asks attentively, helping the bartender to his feet.

"Of course," He grins, "I wouldn't be a part of the underground if I couldn't do that."

Newkirk starts crawling behind the bushes to be unnoticed by the car. As he crawls along he accidentally jabs his hand into a sharp twig. Without thinking, he jumps up, just as the car passes. As bright light whisks past his eyes, then focuses on him.

_Blimey…_

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ------ ------

Jamie's eyes light up with joy as she picks up the cards she exchanged for. A smile sticks on her face as Carter says, "Call."

Proudly, she places down her five cards. "Four of a kind!" She states, scraping in the several ten dollar bills in the middle of the table.

"Wow," Carter marvels, "You're really good at this! I'll be your even better that Newkirk!"

Jamie smiles. "Oh, I wouldn't say that…" She replies, rather smart-alecky. "As a matter of fact, I'm not really any good at poker."

"What do you mean?" asks Carter, surprised, "You are good! I mean, you beat me!"

Jamie grins smugly, "I guess that proves my point."

All of a sudden, the trap door bangs open and a figure emerges.

"Peter!" Jamie screams, tears quickly starting to roll down her cheeks, "You're bleeding!"

----- ----- ----- ----- ------ ------ ------ ----- ----- -----

**AN: Wow, I'M SOOO sorry that took so long. You've all, like, probably completely forgotten about this story, until now, so I hope you liked it! I really tried to do my best, so please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE review! :)**

**Shultz: All right! Everybody out! Roll Call!**

**With the rest of the prisoners, Newkirk leaves the barracks with a glass of beer in hand. Shortly after him comes a short little dachshund.**

**Shultz: (points to the dog) What is that doing here?**

**Newkirk: what? Oh, he must 'ave followed me. Shultz, meet Johann. Johann, this pile of lard 'ere is Shultz.**

**Johann: (barks) Hello**

**Shultz: (holds little Johann in his arms) Aww! He is such a cute little fellow! He reminds me of that Private Johann Schmitt we used to have here.**

**Newkirk: We better keep this short, Shultzie, HH-Dream Puppy wants to update.**

**Schultz: I'm not stopping her.**

**Johann: (barks) Please Review! Oh, and next time you visit bring me some beer, treats, and beer and beer and beer…and maybe some treats…and beer…and maybe some more beer!**

**P.S.: Happy Easter:) :)**


	8. Hogan's Heroes and Hochstetter's Horrors

**_A/N: Time for a new chappie! Please enjoy this chapter, entitled: Hogan's Heroes and Hochstetter's Horrors!_**

**Hochstetter: Bah!**

**----- --------- ----- ---- ------ ----- ---- ---- -------**

Jamie, in tears, runs over to the tunnel entrance where Newkirk is slumped over. "Peter!" She cries, wiping the tears from her eyes, "Are you all right?"

"What happened, Newkirk?" Hogan asks as he and the other help Newkirk onto the bunk.

"Yes Peter!" Jamie exclaims, "What took you so long, and," She eyes his cuts, and wince, "what happened to you?" She brings him a towel and sits next to him.

Newkirk slowly lies on the bunk. "Blimey, it's a long story…" he breathes.

"We have time."

"After I left Jamie, I went to the Hotel Kaiser to meet the bartender," He coughs. "I waited an hour an' 'e never showed up. Then another agent from the underground came in, 'e told me the bartender 'ad been captured be the ruddy Gestapo, 'e—"

"Wait, Newkirk," Hogan interjects, "He was captured by the Gestapo? Is the underground going to get him out?"

"No need guv'nr." Newkirk grins slightly as he drinks some coffee. "'e escaped during that air raid. I found him beaten up in the woods."

"Well, that's good…you did get the information, didn't you?" Hogan asks, looking at him worriedly. "Right…?"

All eyes in the room are on Newkirk. Prisoners on their bunks quickly jump down to the floor to watch him, who now is completely silent. The half open wooden shudders on the window let the moons light in. The light goes straight through the room, them glistens against Newkirk's now sweat covered forehead. Glances are exchanged between Hogan and Jamie. For Newkirk, time seems to stop. He slowly sits up and slides out some to prevent from hitting his head on his bunk above him.

_I was walking along…found the bartender…he was all cut up, and couldn't talk much…he gave me the information didn't he? _Newkirk bites his lip, but is still silent.

Jamie uneasily taps Newkirk gently on the shoulders. "Peter?" Newkirk snaps back to reality, and turns to Jamie, then to Hogan.

"Sorry, guv'nr." He finally says, fidgeting with hands, "'e was beat up worse that I am, an' I completely forgot. It's my fault, sir; I should've asked 'im."

"It's all right. Don't worry about it, Newkirk." Hogan replies, "I just hope that the Gestapo didn't get it."

--------- ---------- ----------- ---------- ----------

The bartender tramples into his house where his wife meets him. "Mark!" She cries, "What happened, _liebchen_?"

Mark seats himself on the chair closest to him. "Maria…where are the papers? Where did you put them?"

She grabs his hand and squeezes it. "Don't worry, Mark, they're in your desk." The elderly woman smiles as she seats herself on the arm of the chair.

Mark looks around uneasily. "Why is this place a mess? Who has been here? The Gestapo?"

"Mark, it was the party, I just haven't cleaned up yet." Maria frowns at her husband's suspiciousness, "Why are you so jumpy? And what happen to you?"

"I was walking towards town, to meet the corporal I told you about. Just when I get into town, the Gestapo seemed to pop in out of nowhere! They hit me over the head with a flashlight; at least I think it was a flashlight, it felt more like a sledge hammer." Mark runs his hand over the back over the back of his head.

Maria examines his head slowly, running her hand over the cut gently. "Let me get a wet cloth for that." She runs to the kitchen and comes back a moment with a rolled up wet cloth in her hands.

"_Danke_." He holds the cloth against the wounded area of his head as he continues. "The next thing I knew I was laying on a table in a dark room a Gestapo officer staring down at me. He knew I'm in the underground, somehow, and tried to get information out of me."

"You didn't tell him anything, did you?"

Mark looks at his wife, frowning. The frown breaks into a smile. "Of course not, darling." He reassures her. "When most of them left during the air raid in Stuttgart, I was able to get myself untied and just when I was going to get out they came back, but then they left again because of the raid on Essen! When I finally got out I was so tired I fell down in the woods. That's when the corporal found when and brought me here."

Maria shakes her unbelievingly. "That's sounds like quite a story, Mark."

"You think that I did this to myself?" He scoffs, pointing to a large cut going across his face.

His wife smiles broadly as she plants a kiss on his other cheek. "You've always been rather danger prone." She whispers into his ear. Marc just laughs. Maria plants another kiss on his lips. "Come, love, let's get you cleaned up."

---- --- ---- ----- ----- ---- ---- ---- ------ ---- ---- ----

Jamie turns to Newkirk who is holding a wet cloth against a cut on his forehead. "Let me do that for you sweetheart." She says, swiping the cloth out of his hand and holding it there for him.

"Blimey, Jamie!" Newkirk exclaims, grabbing the cloth from her hand. "You're not letting me do a bloody thing! What's the bloody point of me living through that if I can't do anything for myself?"

Jamie just makes a funny face at him as she sits down next to him. "Ihave nothing to do."

"Don't forget, luv, you'll have a job once Colonel Hogan leaves and I become senior officer." Newkirk replies. Jamie puts her hands on her hips.

With a big smile she places a kiss on a bruise on his cheek, then a kiss on the cut on his lips. "Can I at least kiss your cuts better?"

Newkirk shrugs slightly, glancing around the room. "I don't know, darling, I'd love to but…I don't know with fourteen men staring at us."

Jamie smiles sheepishly and buries her face in Newkirk's shirt as she looks up at the people around them. Hogan, who was watching them, is now buried deep in a book. Newkirk stands up and casually walks over to Hogan who is now deep into his book.

Newkirk quickly snatches up the book and looks at it. "Well, Colonel, I never knew you spoke Spanish."

Hogan smiles, "Oh, I'm learning." A ripple of laughter stretches across the room, then settles down as Jamie walks over to the entrance to the tunnel.

"I'm going to bed now, okay? I want—" She's interrupted by Shultz wandering into the barracks.

Shultz opens his mouth to talk, but shuts it seeing Jamie.

"Wha—what is she doing here!" Shultz shakes his finger at Colonel Hogan, "Please Colonel! You keep bringing all these frauleins in here and I'll get in trouble!"

"'All these frauleins'!" Hogan mimics, acting shocked, "She's the first this week!"

"Jolly Joker."

Hogan's tone turns a different note when he tilts his head towards Newkirk and Jamie sitting together, hand-and-hand. "And besides, Shultz," He says, folding his hands and looking solemn, "You wouldn't want to stop a blooming romance, would you?"

"Colonel Hogan!" Shultz complains, "You always try to mix me up!"

Hogan grins, "And it's very easy."

Shultz crosses his arms over his rather large stomach. "Colonel Hogan if you don't stop insulting me, I'm going to leave." He states.

Newkirk quickly jumps up and scampers over to Shultz. "My, Shultzie, you've put on quite a few pounds, 'aven't you?" Newkirk asks, poking his finger into Shultz's stomach.

Kinch, LeBeau and Carter close in around Shultz and start throwing insults at Shultz.

"Alright, alright!" Shultz gives in, standing up and heading for the door. "You probably want to plot something I want to know nothing about." He smiles.

Shultz opens up the door and then turns around. "By the way, why are you up so late?" he asks.

Hogan takes a deep breath. "Lets put it this way, what are _you_ doing out so late?"

Shultz chuckles. "Late night duty, some beer is missing form the supply barracks and Kommandant Klink thinks _I_ took it."

"I wonder what gave 'im that idea."

Hogan continues, "Well, that's exactly what we're doing up, late night duty."

With a quick, confused nod, Shultz waddles out.

Jamie laughs, "Okay, I'll go to bed _now_." She gives Peter a kiss and waves to the rest of the men in the barracks, and then crawls down into the tunnel.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------- --------

At exactly seven o'clock in the morning, Shultz bangs open the barracks door, instantly waking all the prisoners.

"What to you bloody think you're doing, Shultzie?!" Newkirk yells from bunk, sticking his head up from under the blankets.

"I think I'm waking you up." Shultz replies.

"Well, beat it, I need to go back to sleep." The Englishman says, curling up tighter and pulling his blankets closer to his body.

"And why to you need so much sleep?"

Newkirk slowly sits up with a broad grin on his face. "Well, I need at least eight hours of beauty sleep!"

"Jolly joker."

Just then, Colonel Hogan comes in from his office. He yawns, and then walks over to Shultz. "Why are you harassing my men, Shultz?"

"Me harass them?" Shultz exclaims, "I'm just trying to wake them up for roll call!"

"Okay. C'mon every out for roll call."

"No, no, no," The overweight guard shakes his head as he blocks the door, "Every body back in!"

"Make up your mind, Shultz!" Carter shouts from behind the crowd of prisoners.

"Yeah," LeBeau agrees, "We don't have all day!"

"I do not make up my mind," Shultz states, "Kommandant Klink makes up my mind for me."

Kinch pushes his way over to Shultz and then pokes him in the chest. "Well, why don't you wait for Klink to make up your mind for you, and wake us then."

"Come on Shultz, what's going on?"

"Major Hochstetter came here around five o'clock this morning, and he said all of you have been working with the underground and that one of you was in town last night."

Hogan and Newkirk nervously exchange glances.

Newkirk coughs. Sauntering up to Shultz, "Shultz…did he say he had proof?"

Shultz blinks. "Proof?" He repeats, confused, "Gestapo need proof?"

"Whatever."

Shultz quickly leaves.

"What are we gonna do, Colonel?" Newkirk asks. He sits down at the table, next to Hogan.

For a moment, Hogan is silent; he stands up and walks over to the door. "I think I'll have a chat with Hochstetter." With that, he leaves the barracks. The heroes rush to Hogan's office and plug in the coffee pot.

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Hogan quietly walks through the outer office, so to not be heard by Klink. He stops to kiss Hilda when he reaches her desk, then turns the door knob and swings the door open. As he steps in, he bumps into Hochstetter.

Hogan's mouth opens wide, pretending to be surprised. "What is this man doing here!?" Hogan exclaims.

Hochstetter looks at him angrily. "What are _you_ doing here?" He hollers. His face starts turning red with rage.

"What am _I_ doing here?" Hogan mimics. "I live here! What your excuse?"

Hochstetter's fist pound down on Klink's desk. "Bah!" Hochstetter turns to an obviously shaken Klink. "Klink!" He yells, "Get him out of here!"

"Hogan, what do you want?" Klink asks, standing up and walking over to Hogan.

Hogan puts on his most innocent, sweet face. "Well, I heard that you and the major here were having a party," he sniffles, "and I…"

"Yes?"

Hogan fixes his jacket and looks straight at Klink. "I came to protest because I wasn't invited."

Klink merely groans.

"Party?" Hochstetter repeats, "Who said anything about a party?"

"No one actually," Hogan replies, "But I know what social butterflies you Gestapo men are—"

"Bah!"

Hogan blinks. "I beg your pardon?"

"I…said…" Hochstetter snarls, beginning to loose what little patience he has, "Bah!"

"Oh!" Hogan smiles, "You're playing charades! Lemme guess!" He thinks for a second. "I know! You're a sheep!"

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**A\N: LOL. I know that this chap didn't me much but, lol, I wanted to update before I hit the one year mark of not updating. Really hope you enjoyed it. Please review!!! **


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